POZ - POZ Magazine - POZ.com - July #125 : The Hunger - by Jonathan Kivett

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POZ in Print

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POZ in Print (2009)

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July/August #156

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	In the Eye of the Beholder	done null
	The Heart of the Matter	done null
	Child, Alive	done null
	Hairdo	done null
	Good Habits	done null
	Maybe Baby	done null
	Hep C	done null
	Your Feedback-July/August 2009	done null
	Cool Veggies, Hot Flavors	done null
	EXTRA! EXTRA!	done null
	Troubled Minds	done null
	Bar Resistance	done null
	Med Alert	done null
	No Child Left Behind	done null
	Kombucha Tea to...Gila Monster Spit?	done null
	Hand to Mouth	done null
	Breaking Barriers	done null
	Family Planning	done null
	Provide and Conquer	done null
	Editor's Letter-July/August 2009	done null
	Summer Musts!	done null
	Be a Brainiac	done null

June #155

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	Under New Management	done null
	Editor's Letter-June 2009	done null
	The L+ Word	done null
	Fill in the Blank	done null
	GMHC Treatment Issues-June 2009	done null
	Vital Vitamins	done null
	Your Feedback-June 2009	done null
	Prison Health Care: Sickening	done null
	POZ/NEG	done null
	Hot Flashes	done null
	Cruz Control	done null
	Shining Light	done null
	RIP:IL-2	done null
	The King of AIDS Awearness	done null
	Starting HIV meds	done null
	It’s All About The Benjamins!	done null
	Maddow About You	done null
	Smoke Gets In Your Fur	done null
	Home, Sweet [New] Home	done null
	Imperfect Attendance	done null
	The Word: PK Booster	done null
	Under One Roof	done null
	Real Life Survivors	done null
	(Un)deniable Evidence	done null

May #154

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	Your Brighter Future Starts Here	done null
	Viral Vernacular	done null
	The Wish of All Wishes	done null
	Your Feedback-May 2009	done null
	POZ & Effect	done null
	Imagine a Brighter Future	done null
	Mission Impozsible	done null
	POZ’s (Abbreviated) Encyclopedia of AIDS	done null
	Infected & Affected	done null
	POZ at 15	done null
	Editor's Letter-May 2009	done null

April #153

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	Sir Alick Goes To Grenada	done null
	Spring Musts!	done null
	Vitamin D...Sizzles!	done null
	Passing the Torch	done null
	Say It: Women Get AIDS*	done null
	Go Tell It On the Mountain	done null
	Editor's Letter-April 2009	done null
	The Holy Grail	done null
	Baring It All	done null
	For HPV: Another Pap Smear and a Vax	done null
	A 4-in-1 One-a-Day?	done null
	Travel Positively	done null
	Recycle Your Meds For Earth Day	done null
	Bearing Witness	done null
	Letters-April 2009	done null
	Cut, Print, It’s a Wrap!	done null
	Criminal Minds?	done null
	Boning Up	done null
	Uniting With Might	done null
	Clueless	done null
	Check That Thyroid	done null
	Can Selzentry Do More Than Suppress Viral Load?	done null
	Herbal Essence	done null
	The Shingles Life	done null
	The Glory and the Power	done null
	Alternating Currents	done null
	Tame the Pain (and the itch)	done null

March #152

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	Second Time Around	done null
	Help Us Make History. Again.	done null
	Staph Strains	done null
	The Word: Nocebo	done null
	About Face	done null
	Measure Up!	done null
	The Ups and Downs of On and Off	done null
	Prostate Cancer and HIV: Treatable	done null
	No More Brain Drain?	done null
	Redemption Song	done null
	Editor's Letter-March 2009	done null
	Week On, Week Off	done null
	Sex, Tourism and HIV	done null
	Surviving HIV in Prison	done null
	London Calling	done null
	Web of Support	done null
	Southern Belles	done null
	Letters-March 2009	done null
	A (Much) Faster Test for Hepatitis C	done null
	Rubber World?	done null
	On Your Mark, Get Set...Taxes!	done null
	Zen and the Virus	done null
	GMHC Treatment Issues-March 2009	done null
	Positive Chatter	done null

January/February #151

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Resistance Is Futile

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Med Alert

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The Sinus Monologues

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Check My Meds

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This Boy’s Life

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Archives » POZ Magazine issues

Editor's Letter - Jan/Feb 2009

Table of Contents

Complaint Department

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Please Do Stop His Music

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The NAPWA/TAEP HIV/AIDS Policy Report

done

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Stomaching Nausea

done

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The Incredible Bulk

done

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Mailbox-September 2008

done

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POZ / NEG

done

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Tribal Council

done

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The Castaways

done

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No Behind Left Behind

done

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Running on Empty

done

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Editor's Letter-September 2008

done

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The Freshman

done

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Birthday Girls

done

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Can Hypnosis Tame PN Pain?

done

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M·A·C Attack

done

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Hep C Drug to the Rescue?

done

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Mexicanos y HIV

done

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Getting Out and Staying Healthy

done

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Red-Carpet Ready

done

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July/August #146

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	Sound Like a Plan?	done null
	Move It, Doc!	done null
	HIV Info, Str8 2 UR Fone	done null
	In or Out?	done null
	AIDS on the Border	done null
	Field of Genes	done null
	Editor's Letter-July/August 2008	done null
	Online Rx	done null
	That's Hot!	done null
	Pos or Not?	done null
	GMHC Treatment Issues-July/August 2008	done null
	Staying Put?	done null
	In or Out?	done null
	Operation Iraqi Stigma	done null
	Service Interruption	done null
	Sealed With a Kiss	done null
	Starter Wives	done null
	Tai Chi for T Cells	done null
	Surf's Up!	done null
	Mile-High Hopes	done null
	Bad Combos ...and the Women Who Take Them	done null
	Death on the Nile	done null
	At the Drugstore: Do You Get What You Pay For?	done null
	Adherence Tip: It's In the Bag	done null
	PI Solo Act	done null
	Hot Dates-July/August 2008	done null
	Mailbox-July/August 2008	done null
	Postcard From the Edge	done null
	When to Treat	done null
	Stem Cell Surprise	done null
	Torch Song	done null
	So Long, Salmonella	done null
	Mile High Hopes	done null

June #145

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	Bones: An Owner’s Guide	done null
	Slam Dunk	done null
	Lives on the Line	done null
	Mixed Doubles	done null
	From Roger With Love	done null
	Separated at Birth	done null
	Spot Check	done null
	Sergeant Ozzy Ramos Comes Home	done null
	Sunday School AIDS	done null
	Mailbox-June 2008	done null
	Hipper Hop	done null
	Starting to Gel	done null
	CD4 Recipe	done null
	The Truth About Cats	done null
	Hep to Weed	done null
	Yes, yes, nano	done null
	Mayors Get Testy	done null
	Moral Minority	done null
	POZ/NEG-June 2008	done null
	Flesh for Fantasy	done null
	A Tale of Two Cities	done null
	Prezista Press	done null
	Oh, Brother	done null
	The Insiders	done null
	Hall Monitor	done null
	Gut Check	done null
	Deep Breath	done null
	Red Ribbons and Checkered Flags	done null
	Editor's Letter-June 2008	done null
	Hey, Babies	done null

May #144

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	Not by Meds Alone	done null
	Heads of the Class	done null
	Cholesterol Downer	done null
	Mixology	done null
	Heartburn Hotel	done null
	Mercury Rising	done null
	Melrose Place 2.0	done null
	Mailbox-May 2008	done null
	Runaway Hit	done null
	Jargon: DWI	done null
	Prom Night Prep	done null
	The Mother of All HIV Tests	done null
	Pill-Taking Tip	done null
	Protein Shakers	done null
	Lights! Camera! Bareback Action!	done null
	HIV: Behind the Music	done null
	What's a Girl to Do?	done null
	No Viral Load=No Transmission?	done null
	Strong-arming HIV	done null
	Editor's Letter-May 2008	done null
	Staphing Up	done null
	Britain: Hep C Rings Twice	done null
	Apply as Directed	done null
	Silence=Meth	done null
	Rock Out	done null
	Ladies First	done null
	Healing Fields	done null
	The Stand	done null
	Cardio Risk Raiser	done null
	Keeping Up With the Joneses	done null
	Taking Care of Business	done null

April #143

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	Late Date	done null
	No Fly Zone	done null
	It's Raining Rihanna	done null
	Tax and Tip	done null
	French Fried	done null
	Enchanted	done null
	Who's Your Caddy?	done null
	GMHC Treatment Issues-April 2008	done null
	Choke Hold	done null
	Caribbean Queen	done null
	New Med in Town	done null
	Male Call	done null
	Micro Managing	done null
	Non-Friction	done null
	Disco Disclosure	done null
	Trump's HIV Apprentice	done null
	Mailbox-April 2008	done null
	Playing the Circuit	done null
	Dummy Up, Mom	done null
	The NAPWA/TAEP HIV/AIDS Policy Report-April 2008	done null
	On-the-Job Training	done null
	Spa Treatment	done null
	Halftime Show	done null
	Show Girl	done null
	Editor's Letter--April 2008	done null
	Eco Chamber	done null
	One... Two... C	done null
	Just Add Water	done null
	The Wire	done null
	Sweet Home Alabama	done null

March #142

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	Sister Stigmas	done null
	Nobody’s Foo	done null
	The Long Haul	done null
	Media Police	done null
	Test Drive	done null
	Boston Latex	done null
	Post It!	done null
	Native Soul	done null
	Inside the Box	done null
	Quitting Time	done null
	Same Sheets, Different Day	done null
	Consider the Alternative	done null
	Flunking Math	done null
	The NAPWA/TAEP HIV/AIDS Policy Report	done null
	Diagnosis: Stigma	done null
	HIV 101	done null
	Getting Graphic	done null
	Staph Memo	done null
	*The POZ* Diabetes Diet Makeover**	done null
	Power Surge	done null
	Stage Fright	done null
	Boosting Immunity	done null
	Editor's Letter-March 2008	done null
	The New 90210?	done null
	Caffeine Fix	done null
	Mailbox-March 2008	done null

January/February #141

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	Angels in Africa	done null
	Plop Art	done null
	You’ve Come a Long Way, Babies	done null
	My Generation	done null
	Sugar Rush	done null
	A Stirling Example	done null
	Pass the Mike	done null
	Birds, Bees and HIV	done null
	Cambodia Manhunt	done null
	The NAPWA/TAEP HIV/AIDS Policy Report	done null
	Homing Devices	done null
	The Insure Thing	done null
	Download This!	done null
	Raw Hide	done null
	Fifteen Candles	done null
	Drop That Dose	done null
	They Clicked	done null
	Mailbox-January/February 2008	done null
	Growing Pains	done null
	Hi Five	done null
	Women and Children First	done null
	Girl Talk	done null
	Raven Reviews	done null
	Iowa Rocks	done null
	Can We Talk	done null
	Editor's Letter-January/February 2008	done null
	Parent Trap	done null

POZ in Print (2007)

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December #140

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	Dodging Danger	done null
	Ask For It By Name	done null
	It’s a Wrap	done null
	A Day Without “Day Without Art”	done null
	Survey Says...	done null
	New Resistance Fighters	done null
	Medicine Man	done null
	Cash Therapy	done null
	Mailbox-December 2007	done null
	Precious Stone	done null
	Hot Dates-December 2007	done null
	Look Elsewhere	done null
	African in America	done null
	Editor's Letter-December 2007	done null
	Wake Up, India	done null
	Northern Disclosure	done null
	Yesterday Once More	done null
	Learning Latex	done null
	Suspicious Minds	done null
	More Than Just a Number	done null
	Yule Love ’Em	done null
	Catch of the Month	done null
	It’s a Wrap	done null
	A Wealth of Trouble	done null
	Windy City Blues	done null
	Think Inside the Box	done null
	Baby Bonus	done null
	Unfine China	done null
	Clean Sweep	done null

November #139

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	Hot or Not?	done null
	Ticket to Ride	done null
	Hot Dates-November 2007	done null
	Ready for Your Screen Test?	done null
	The Big Fix	done null
	Mailbox-November 2007	done null
	Saturday’s Child	done null
	The Simplex Life	done null
	I Got Tested for HIV... And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt	done null
	Release Party	done null
	On Your Marks	done null
	Lost	done null
	Pray Tell	done null
	Scotch Guard	done null
	The Profiler	done null
	Coming Clean	done null
	Catch of the Month-November 2007	done null
	The South Shall Rise Again	done null
	Medical Leave	done null
	(Not So) Free of Charge	done null
	Editor's Letter-November 2007	done null
	What’s In, What’s Out	done null
	Babe Boom	done null
	Sperm of the Moment	done null
	Staph Directory	done null
	Toxic Avengers	done null
	Sounds Like a Plan	done null

October #138

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	Back to the Bathhouse	done null
	Call Me Miss Ralph	done null
	Mortal Combat	done null
	Capital Punishment	done null
	Catch of the Month-October 2007	done null
	Not in My House	done null
	Posh Spices	done null
	The Shirt Off My Back	done null
	With or Without You	done null
	Hot Dates-October 2007	done null
	Mailbox-October 2007	done null
	It's Stuffy in Here	done null
	Embedded	done null
	Above the Rim	done null
	Dairy Queen	done null
	So Hot off the Press	done null
	Editor's Letter-October 2007	done null
	Buck Buddies	done null
	At Your Service	done null
	Sarah Sorting	done null
	Campus Confidential	done null
	Reality Bites	done null
	Reyataz Takers: Drink Up	done null
	Brothers & Sisters	done null
	eBay AIDS	done null
	Two-Time Survivor	done null
	Let’s Hear It for the Boy	done null
	The Early Show	done null

September #137

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	Our Space	done null
	The Princess and the HIV	done null
	Got Milk Thistle?	done null
	Sexpert-September 2007	done null
	I Gotta Be Me	done null
	Get a Nightlife	done null
	Trainer's Bench-September 2007	done null
	The Elite Meet	done null
	Holding Out for a Hero	done null
	Trouble in Paradise	done null
	Catch of the Month-September 2007	done null
	Blown Sideways	done null
	Have I Got News for You	done null
	Condoms on the Side	done null
	The Food Network	done null
	Cheat Sheet	done null
	The Shore Thing	done null
	GOAAAAALLLLLLL!	done null
	We've Got Your Number	done null
	Crowning Achievement	done null
	Star Billing	done null
	Flu Fight	done null
	Solo Shot	done null
	28 Profiles in Courage	done null
	Priority Male	done null
	Hot Dates-September 2007	done null
	Mailbox-September 2007	done null
	Editor's Letter-September 2007	done null
	The Jury is Out	done null
	Doctors Ordered	done null
	Heads of the Class	done null

July/August #136

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	The Killing Fields	done null
	Achy Breaky HAART	done null
	Control Issues	done null
	Bush's Test Results	done null
	RED Bull?	done null
	Follywood	done null
	Editor's Letter-July/August 2007	done null
	Big Gulp	done null
	Mother Lode	done null
	Vote of Confidence	done null
	Mailbox-July/August 2007	done null
	Pole Position	done null
	Culture Wars	done null
	The Art of Activism	done null
	Hot Dates-July/August 2007	done null
	A Ryan White Scorecard	done null
	WikiHIV	done null
	Gimme Some Skin	done null
	Oui Are the World	done null
	Uniform Care	done null
	Catch of the Month-July/August 2007	done null
	Trigger Happy	done null
	High Definition	done null
	Trans America	done null
	Bringing Sexy Back	done null
	Getting Crystal Clear	done null
	Going Green	done null
	The Mirror Has Two Chins	done null

June #135

Success

null

	Catch of the Month—June 2007	done null
	Agent Provocateur	done null
	Baggage Claim	done null
	From Here to Paternity	done null
	Summer Share	done null
	Getting Crafty	done null
	In the Running	done null
	B Careful	done null
	Say What?!-June 2007	done null
	Mailbox-June 2007	done null
	Soul Survivors	done null
	Playing the Percentages	done null
	The Next Best Thing to Being There	done null
	Mixed (Up) Media	done null
	Jagged Little Pills	done null
	Seeing Double	done null
	Write of Passage	done null
	Bunny Business	done null
	Editor's Letter-June 2007	done null
	Happy Feet	done null
	Papa, Can You Hear Me?	done null
	Send Us the Bill	done null
	Climb Every Mountain	done null
	Salad Daze	done null
	Attention, K-Y Shoppers	done null
	Farewell Tour	done null
	Hot Dates-June 2007	done null
	Another AIDS Movie for Philadelphia	done null
	Outside Chance	done null

May #134

Success

null

	Desert Storm	done null
	Brazilian Bombshell	done null
	Pillow Talk	done null
	Island in the Stream	done null
	A League of His Own	done null
	The Tipping Point	done null
	All Our Children	done null
	With a Trace	done null
	POZ Asked Three Positive New Yorkers:	done null
	Editor's Letter-May 2007	done null
	Medijuana	done null
	Blood, Sweat and Tears	done null
	Catch of the Month-May 2007	done null
	The Mother of Us All	done null
	Ask The Sexpert-May 2007	done null
	Shock Jock	done null
	Lost in America	done null
	Where’s the Party?	done null
	Mailbox-May 2007	done null
	You Betcha	done null
	Ready, Willing and Abled	done null
	Home of the Brave	done null
	Thanks, but No Thanks	done null
	Trainer's Bench-May 2007	done null
	Those Other Smokes	done null

April #133

Success

null

	Read My Lipids	done null
	Kramer vs. Kramer	done null
	Dazed and Confused	done null
	Almost Legal	done null
	Turning Heads	done null
	Gag Reflex	done null
	You Go!	done null
	Flags of a Father	done null
	Mailbox-April 2007	done null
	Mature Content	done null
	High Definition-APRIL 2007	done null
	Getting On (and off)	done null
	Catch of the Month-April 2007	done null
	Editor's Letter-April 2007	done null
	Iraqi Pullout	done null
	The Itch Is Back	done null
	Worth a Shot	done null
	Couples Therapy	done null
	Border Line Prevention	done null
	Mission Control	done null
	Top Secret	done null
	Death in Dixie	done null
	And for Our Next Act...	done null

February/March #132

Success

null

	Ed Letter-Feb/March 2007	done null
	Mailbox-Feb/March 2007	done null
	Health By Chocolate	done null
	Pay It Forward	done null
	Juiced	done null
	Disobedience School	done null
	Mentors-Feb/March 2007	done null
	How the Other Half Lives	done null
	In the House	done null
	Styx and Stones	done null
	Discomfort Inn	done null
	Catch of the Month-Feb/March 2007	done null
	Oral Majority	done null
	Parental Guidance	done null
	Status Seekers	done null
	Office Flirt	done null
	Reyataz: Out With the Two Old, and In With One New	done null
	Who’s the Boss	done null
	Party Games	done null
	The View	done null
	Filling Station	done null
	Ask the Sexpert-Feb/March 2007	done null
	Heart Condition	done null
	Saved by the Belly	done null
	Behind Every Good Woman?	done null
	Clap Trap	done null

January #131

Success

null

	The Load Not Taken	done null
	Catch of the Month-January 2007	done null
	Discounted Labels	done null
	The Kids Aren't Alright	done null
	Editor's Letter-January 2007	done null
	High Definition	done null
	A Little Something on the Side	done null
	While You Weren't Sleeping	done null
	Very Adult Education	done null
	Big Med on Campus	done null
	Face for the Cure	done null
	Don't Get Fresh With Me	done null
	Thai-ing the Knot	done null
	On the Download	done null
	Labors of Love	done null
	Diplomatic Immunity	done null
	Death and the Maidens	done null
	Mailbox-January 2007	done null
	With Honors	done null
	Tales From the Crib	done null
	HIV Bytes	done null
	Prison Break	done null
	Anywhere but Here	done null
	Teen Angel	done null
	Don't Leave Work Without It	done null
	Isn't That Special?	done null
	Even Combos Get the Blues	done null

POZ in Print (2006)

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December #130

Success

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	35 Ones To Watch	done null
	Pick Your Poison	done null
	We’re Not In Kansas Anymore	done null
	Free At Last	done null
	Recipe for Disaster	done null
	High Definitions	done null
	Signing Bonus	done null
	Trainer’s Bench-December 2006	done null
	Catch Of The Month-December 2006	done null
	Editor's Letter-December 2006	done null
	Madonna Dearest	done null
	The Bug Stops Here	done null
	Star Quality	done null
	Mailbox-December 2006	done null
	Sins Of The Flesh	done null
	Poster Children	done null
	Women on the Verge	done null

November #129

Success

null

	Mailbox-November 2007	done null
	Keeping the Faith	done null
	Dances With Dog	done null
	Rio Bravo	done null
	Team Spirit	done null
	Reins of Terror	done null
	That Masked Man	done null
	Take as Directed	done null
	Raging Bull	done null
	I’m Outta Here	done null
	Race for a Cure?	done null
	Thanks in Advance	done null
	Silver Screening	done null
	Electile Dysfunction	done null
	Bar Exam	done null
	Sneak Peek	done null
	Time of the Month	done null
	Catch of the Month-November 2007	done null
	What Gives	done null
	Deal or No Deal?	done null
	Stop, Go, But Proceed With Caution	done null
	Belly Flop	done null
	Missionary Man	done null
	Editor’s Letter-November 2006	done null
	Practicing What She Preaches	done null
	Word Up!	done null

October #128

Success

null

	Flu's Clues	done null
	Inside Job	done null
	Cash Prizes!	done null
	Believe the Hypo	done null
	Change Is Good	done null
	Here Comes the Son	done null
	I’m Gonna Tell	done null
	Gender Bender	done null
	The Big Chill	done null
	Mailbox-October 2006	done null
	So Sue Me	done null
	Ask The Sexpert-October 2006	done null
	Editor’s Letter-October 2006	done null
	Control Issues	done null
	The Little AIDS Club That Could	done null
	Feet First	done null
	Hurricane Liz	done null
	Attention, Class!	done null
	Catch Of The Month-October 2006	done null
	Trainer's Bench-October 2006	done null
	False Positives	done null
	Meet The Grandparents	done null
	Gene Genies	done null

September #127

Success

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	Editor’s Letter-Septmeber 2006	done null
	Hurts So Good	done null
	“C” Ya In Bed	done null
	The Mourning Show	done null
	The Money Pit	done null
	The Porn Identity	done null
	United We Fall	done null
	Back to School	done null
	Bye George!	done null
	Blood Sport	done null
	Catch of the Month-September 2006	done null
	Dear Dairy	done null
	ONLINE EXCLUSIVE: Mixed Doubles	done null
	Mailbox-September 2006	done null
	Retro Virus	done null
	Magnum PIs: Protease inhibitor bulletin	done null
	Kick in the Butt	done null
	Old School	done null
	Crash	done null
	Good, Dirty Fun	done null
	Code Blueberry	done null
	A Capitol Punishment?	done null
	U.S. Steal	done null
	Deposit Slip	done null

August #126

Success

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	Doggone It	done null
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July 2006

The Hunger

by Jonathan Kivett

Sex. It’s ironic that the word can mean something we seek from others and also mean something that defines us. My sex is male. My sex is infrequent (grin). But, like my virus, my sex is something that makes me who I am, and it keeps me searching for some kind of fit.

Sex in the era of AIDS, for those of us who live inside that aquarium, is a cloudy thing. Something pure, something we more or less understand, is suddenly overlaid (pardon the pun) with doubt. I wonder whether my disclosure will deny me the love I deserve or the sex I crave. I serosort, using HIV as a third gender to further narrow the possibilities. I negotiate everything from kissing to condoms with the same analytical single-mindedness with which I order Chinese takeout. Yes, I am cool with condoms for the kung pao. No, I don’t want to wrap the crab angels. Yes, I’d like the hot and sour. And it sometimes seems even less romantic than that. Oh, great—now I’m hungry.

But I tend to forget that it’s more than that. Sex, like HIV, is more than a goal, more than a menu. Sex is who I am. So is HIV. No negotiating that, really. I can choose, on my good days, to find comfort in that fact.

Sex, the drive, is tied into sex, the gender, and infused with HIV, which pervades both.

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