January #98 : Healthful Humor - by Paul Kidd

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10 Ways to End AIDS (in 10 years)

Happy New You

Political Science

"Prevention" for Positives

Habitats for HIVers

On the Job

Going Under Cover

All the Right Places

2024: AIDS Cured, ex-PWAs Ignored

Trouble Indemnity


Show & Gel

Healthful Humor

Living on Hope


High Resolution: New Year’s Creeds

2004: What’s In, What’s Out?


When Your CD4s Count

New Med on the Shelf

Quick Study: Virus in Vaginas

Strike a Pose

Chicago Hope?

Quick Study: Hep C

Watch Your Mouth


CMV Drug Does Double Duty

Bed Head

Unreality TV


Publisher's Letter

Amazing Race

Most Popular Lessons

The HIV Life Cycle


Herpes Simplex Virus

Syphilis & Neurosyphilis

Treatments for Opportunistic Infections (OIs)

What is AIDS & HIV?

Hepatitis & HIV

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January 2004

Healthful Humor

by Paul Kidd

You’re at lunch or in a bar with an HIV negative friend, when he or she asks: “Last night I was doing ___ with ___, and (he/she/it) put (his/her/its/my) ___ in (my/its/her/his) ___ —not something I usually do, but, hey, I was (drunk/crazy/on TV) at the time. Do you think I may have HIV?”

If you’re like me, you sigh, patiently explain how HIV is transmitted and suggest that the inquisitor (have an HIV test/wear a condom next time/join the 21st century). Next time, send your friend to www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/ SafeSex/index.html (case sensitive). The Body’s “Ask the Experts” safer-sex forum fields hundreds of questions like this every day with humor and hard facts.

The long-suffering gurus have tackled: Can I get it from nibbling my boyfriend’s ear? (No.) From touching a transsexual’s genitals? (No.) Despite testing negative for HIV multiple times since receiving oral sex from a prostitute 10 years ago, do I have AIDS? (Relax.) Might the creamy pasta sauce at my local restaurant have semen in it? (We’re not making this up.) The other forums—on HIV treatment, OIs and side effects—aren’t quite as entertaining, but the experts apply equal tact and grace.

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