May #101 : Nurse Knew It All - by Staff

POZ - Health, Life and HIV
Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:

Back to home » Archives » POZ Magazine issues




Table of Contents

The POZ Decade-Bare Witness

The POZ Decade

The POZ Decade-1994

The POZ Decade-1995

The POZ Decade-1996

Let’s Talk About Sex

The POZ Decade-1997

The POZ Decade-1998

The POZ Decade-1999

The POZ Decade-2000

The POZ Decade-2001

Star Wars

The POZ Decade-2002

The POZ Decade-2003

Tributes

Catching Up

Come Together Right Now

10 Unsung Heroes

Then & Now

Death Wish

In Sickness & in Health

In My Life

Angels & Devils

Postscripts From the Edge

Where It’s At

Below the Radar

The Right Moves

Vital Signs

Checkup Check-In

Wish You Were Here?

Future Hits

Future Blocks

Top 10 Side Effects

Nurse Knew It All

10 More Pills

Fabulously Positive

The 10 Wackiest AIDS “Cures"

Founder's Letter

Mailbox

The Gift of Life



Most Popular Lessons

The HIV Life Cycle

Shingles

Herpes Simplex Virus

Syphilis & Neurosyphilis

Treatments for Opportunistic Infections (OIs)

What is AIDS & HIV?

Hepatitis & HIV


email print

May 2004

Nurse Knew It All

by Staff

For years Nurse Know-It-All (a.k.a. Greg Lugliani) kept POZ readers in the pink. Sadly, she has flipped her cap and fled—leaving these 10 treasured treatment tips to remember her by

Ad Nausea

“Tranquilize your GI tract by eating smaller, more frequent meals, drug regimen permitting. Indulge in a preprandial (get out your dictionary, darlings) glass of (filtered) water with a lemon twist—it’s simple, elegant, and said to settle the stomach.” —November 1999

Constipation Frustration

“How did Mussolini keep his trains running on time? An iron fist. Nurse advises a softer touch: Consuming 20 to 30 milligrams of fiber a day makes a healthier stool and a happier you.” —December 1999

Gas Mask

“Some people have given their emissions as excuses for falling off the med wagon. Don’t even think of it, sweets. For what it’s worth, I’d much rather suffer your smells than attend your memorial service.” —September 1999

Genital Warts and All

“Your miraculous meat puppet may enjoy cult status, but—saints alive—I pray you’re keeping it enshrined in latex during all consensual rituals. Don’t even get me started on unsheathed butt-banging and the nasty growths it promotes.” —January 2000

Hungover? Hang On

“It may come as a surprise, dear readers, that your Nursie has put in her time on bar stools. ‘Where are the remedies, Nursie?’ you gasp. I’ll make it easy: Hydrate.” —May 2001

Hot Lips, Cold Sores

“Love is never having to say, ‘I don’t want to suck your scabs,’ so keep Mr. Right around by shortening your suppurating sores’ sojourn. If nature is how you nurture, why not try lapping up a little lysine, swallowing selenium, popping vitamins A and C?” —January 2002

Slumber Jack

“As much as I hate to say it, avoid nightcaps. Even a soupçon of sauce before slumber stimulates the chemical activity in the brain that is bound to bar you from beauty sleep.” —June 1999

Tattoo You

“Goodness gracious, when you stop to consider, it’s rather like having somewhat savage safe sex, isn’t it? Once you’ve decided to embrace the pain, don’t wimp out by failing to ask how things get sterilized.” —January 2001

Breath-a-lizer

“Yo, Flo: Your not-so-sweet stuff may require a dentist’s prescription for a special back-of-the-tongue scraper and antibacterial rinse. (Mouthwash, you ask? Most contain alcohol, drying the mouth and keeping the vicious-smelling cycle rolling.)” —February/March 2001

Cramps Your Style

“They don’t pay me the big bucks to wear this ghastly uniform for nothing, so here are a few more cramp-countering tips: Physical activity, especially aerobic, stimulates the body’s built-in painkillers, endorphins. For extra relief, try the big ‘O.’ Sex-cum-climax works wonders.” —July 2000




[Go to top]

Join POZ Facebook Twitter Google+ MySpace YouTube Tumblr Flickr
Quick Links
Current Issue

HIV 101
HIV Testing
Safer Sex
Find a Date
Newly Diagnosed
Disclosing Your Status
Starting Treatment
Search for the Cure
POZ Stories
POZ TV
Read the Blogs
Visit the Forums
Women
African American
Latino
Providers
Job Listings
Events Calendar


    guycmh328
    Columbus
    Ohio


    romanticseattle
    Tacoma
    Washington


    usuallyhappy
    Palm Springs
    California


    robert12
    Queens
    New York
Click here to join POZ Personals!
Ask POZ Pharmacist

Talk to Us
Poll
Do you enjoy books with HIV-positive characters?
Yes
No

Survey
Mind Matters

more surveys
Contact Us
We welcome your comments!
[ about Smart + Strong | about POZ | POZ advisory board | partner links | advertising policy | advertise/contact us | site map]
© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved. Terms of use and Your privacy.
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.