10 The “AIDS Treating Machine” (from T&T Medical Products). Contents: “Solution A, with H2O and NaCl.” We’re talking salt water, sister. Save it for the capellini.
9 The “Zapper” (from Bob Beck, self-proclaimed “doctor of the future”). This gizmo claimed to electrocute HIV and other pesky viruses.
8 Hyperthermia. In 1990, PWAs maxed-out credit cards for pricey stays in foreign clinics where the blood was taken from their bodies, heated and returned, presumably HIV free.
7 In Africa the myth that sex with virgins cures AIDS causes a rash of rapes.
6 “Plasma Plus.” This potion’s peddler was busted in Vegas for fraud.
5 “Immunostim” claimed to cure not just AIDS but cancer. Contents: a compound akin to (we kid you not) toilet bowl cleaner.
4 “OvImmune” was made of powdered eggs from vaccinated chickens. Yolk’s on you.
3 Three-Herb Miracle Cure dot-com. This one sprouted on the World Wide Wed in 1996. A court order swiftly nipped it in the bud.
2 HIV positive South African grave robbers brewed tea from an apartheid official’s skeleton convinced it would cure. Kettle’s on.
1 The undisputed No. 1, from an anonymous tip to the AIDS Committee of Toronto: masturbating onto tomatoes. We’re not sure how it works, but you’ll never look at ketchup the same way again.
AIDS and health-care fraud are no joke. Check out www.healthfraud.org and www.quackwatch.org.