We collected tips from POZ friends for those whose first date will be at least a threesome: you, the potential new honey and a pesky virus (or two).
TRUTH SERUM: "My advice for first dates, HIV or no HIV, is the same: Tell the friggin' truth. People who have HIV should want people who can't handle it to go away so that they can move on and find someone who can. On the flip side, I wouldn't announce that I want to be spanked before the waiter arrived to offer us menus -- but if that was
central to my sex life, I wouldn't keep it from my new romance until after we bought a house, either."
-- Dan Savage, sex-advice columnist, Seattle
PLAY DATE: "Keep your sense of humor and play -- that's what a first date should be about. For me, it's important to remember that I don't have to marry the person."
-- Krishna Stone, Gay Men's Health Crisis, New York City
LOOSE GOOSE: "Just go ahead and enjoy it -- and don't fret about impressing. Desperation is rarely an attractive quality."
-- Cal Cohen, MD, community doc, Boston
SILENT NOT: "Start talking the second you get there -- don't even stop for breath. Starting a date with awkward silences can be so romance-crushing you
both might never recover."
-- Michael Musto, Village Voice columnist, New York City