November #96 : Can You Hear Me Now? - by Kevin O'Leary

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Table of Contents

Reversal of Fortune

Worlds Apart

There She Is...

Trial and Trial Again

Closing the Gap

African Bandstand

Pharma Adapts to ADAP

Stone Cold Killing

Hyper Activists

Who Gives a Fund?

Talkin' Turkey


Can You Hear Me Now?

RETROPOZ: It Happened in November

Shout Out

Say What?

Paris is for HIVers

World on a (Shoe)string

Paris Scope: 6 Quick Picks from IAS

Bone UP

Bone Appétit

Guiding Light?

Quick Study: HPV and HAART

Heeling Power

Warning Signs

Drama Queen

Can Your Inner Ham

Burn, BABY, Burn


Sunshine State


Most Popular Lessons

The HIV Life Cycle


Herpes Simplex Virus

Syphilis & Neurosyphilis

Treatments for Opportunistic Infections (OIs)

What is AIDS & HIV?

Hepatitis & HIV

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November 2003

Can You Hear Me Now?

by Kevin O'Leary

Mandela phones Bush. Imagine us eavesdropping...

George: Y’ello.
Nelson: Mr. President, this is Nelson Mandela.
George: Señor Mandela! Buenos días.
Nelson: (Silence)
George: Uh, cómo está stuff en la Panama?
Nelson: The pandemic? Their endless going must leave an emptiness with those of us who stay behind. As you say, a charge to keep.
George: Oh, it’s Nellie! You old fortune cookie. What’s the Swahili for “how you doing?”
Nelson: Mr. President, I’m calling to inform you that South Africa’s president, Thabo Mbeki, has accepted the link between HIV and AIDS…
George: It’s like terrorism and death! America and peace! You know, uh, I got Bill Fritzy, I mean, Frist, down there to see about a downpayment on that $15 billion I promised. I’m thinking maybe Africa just needs $2 billion for now. I got five years, right? Yeah, maybe you need a little less.
Nelson: Mr. President, when I divorced my darling Winnie, I said, “I part from my wife with no recriminations. I embrace her with all the love and affection I have nursed for her inside and outside prison…”
George: You were in prison? What were you in for?
Nelson: ...So I am saying that in the face of the grave threat posed by HIV/AIDS, we have to rise above our differences and combine our efforts to save our people.
George: That’s right. We will not allow terrorists to threaten the African peoples. The price of vigilance is eternal freedom. And that AIDS thing is serious. Those people oughta get that checked out. Take something and get that cleared up. Sheesh. I gotta go, Nellie. I’ll catch up with you next year when you need the next check.
Nelson: But please—no more collect calls.

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