December #66 : Packing Meat, Just Barely - by Donald Suggs

POZ - Health, Life and HIV
Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join

Back to home » Archives » POZ Magazine issues

Table of Contents

The Viral Lowdown: Can You Believe What She Says?

The Viral Lowdown: Say What

The Viral Lowdown: Word Is Out For New HIVers

The Viral Lowdown: Dishing Out the Denial

The Viral Lowdown: Pharma Flubs Phase IV

The Viral Lowdown: Lack of Leadership Leaves Latinos In Lethal Lurch

The Viral Lowdown: Mystery: Partially Positive

The Viral Lowdown: Prison Death Prompts Probe

The Viral Lowdown: African AIDS Under a TAC

The Viral Lowdown: All Dolled Up: Rx Abuse High Among Gay HIVers


The Viral Lowdown: If Not Now, When? If Not Us, Who?

The Viral Lowdown: News Flash: The Sky Isn't Falling!

The Viral Lowdown: HIVers in Hock to Homophobia

Tales of the (Safer Sex) City

Clean, Sober...and Medicated?

The Secret Plot to Destroy African Americans


The Art Of Living

Summit, Some More

Channel Surfing

Shout Out

Lights! Camera! Handcuffs?

Quick Picks

Life Is Sweet

Packing Meat, Just Barely

A Cell of One’s Own


Doing AIDS Justice

Petal Pusher

Carry On, MP

Milk Got You?

Comfort Zone

Big Science Kicker

Herb Of The Month

Protease Progeny

It Takes Guts

Between A Recovery And A Hard Place

Most Popular Lessons

The HIV Life Cycle


Herpes Simplex Virus

Syphilis & Neurosyphilis

Treatments for Opportunistic Infections (OIs)

What is AIDS & HIV?

Hepatitis & HIV

email print

December 2000

Packing Meat, Just Barely

by Donald Suggs

It’s raining heavily tonight, but that hasn’t dampened the spirits of the five men (and one facilitator) assembled in the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in Manhattan’s Meatpacking District. The purpose of tonight’s discussion is to shed new light on barebacking, the controversial practice of gay men deliberately having sexual intercourse without condoms. But as a comment by Michael, a white fiftysomething in an AIDS Ride t-shirt, illustrates—“I don’t like to think about those things when I have a hard-on”—you can’t always draw a clear line in the sand between these guys and gay men who routinely “slip” or straight men who simply prefer their sex raw.

Still, it’s the hope of facilitator Miguel, a 29-year-old Puerto Rican with box braids, that this discussion will help get others involved in his efforts to lobby for gay-friendly research on microbicides, topically applied gels and creams that kill HIV. “The problem is that there’s no alternative to condoms,” he insists, “not that there’s a lack of awareness about safer sex.” Until that happens, no one is ready to table the talk about the stigma attached to those who openly engage in “risky” sex.

The only hitch is that while all present are willing to offer a spirited defense of their right to have condomless sex—43-year-old Dennis from Chelsea describes it as a “sexual version of extreme sports”—no one seems to be exercising it, at least not in the devil-may-care fashion that is supposed to dramatically distinguish barebackers’ from other men. Forty-nine-year-old Lidell, a sex-club owner from Manhattan, limits himself to barebacking with older, HIV positive men, in environments conducive to discussing the possible consequences of reinfection. “I confine myself to doing it at sex clubs,” he says, “because I can talk about it first. You can’t do that in a public restroom. There isn’t that level of negotiation.”

Miguel feels that such anecdotes support his contention that most barebackers already try to practice some form of safer sex and only need better options, like microbicides. But not all approaches to harm reduction are so well thought out. “A lot of guys I sleep with ask me if I have a girlfriend first,” says a 51-year-old, also named Michael, wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. “The perception is that if we’re both ‘straight,’ then it’s ‘safe’ [to be unsafe].” He shrugs, “But maybe that’s a Jersey thing.”

For Don, a 41-year-old Chinese-American educator who shifts uncomfortably throughout the discussion, what’s at issue is not just when and how to dispense with a condom, but the prevailing notions of “responsibility” that underlie the barebacking debate—and their implications for men who are already HIV positive. “I want to see advances in HIV medications and microbicides,” he says, “but there’s no quick fix for the discrimination that people with HIV already have to face.”

To him, that’s evident in the very language used to discuss barebacking—in tonight’s discussion and in general. “Words like risk taking are judgmental,” he says quietly, “and part of the whole safer-sex agenda. Prevention only talks about how to keep HIV negative men negative, not how to improve positive men’s lives. The assumption is always that anything that keeps you alive longer is better. But some of us don’t want to live in pain—or to always have to think about condoms. Quality of life is important too, not just
quantity of life.”

[Go to top]

Facebook Twitter Google+ MySpace YouTube Tumblr Flickr Instagram
Quick Links
Current Issue

HIV Testing
Safer Sex
Find a Date
Newly Diagnosed
HIV 101
Disclosing Your Status
Starting Treatment
Help Paying for Meds
Search for the Cure
POZ Stories
POZ Opinion
POZ Exclusives
Read the Blogs
Visit the Forums
Job Listings
Events Calendar
POZ on Twitter

Ask POZ Pharmacist

Talk to Us
Did you participate in an event for National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day 2016?


more surveys
Contact Us
We welcome your comments!
[ about Smart + Strong | about POZ | POZ advisory board | partner links | advertising policy | advertise/contact us | site map]
© 2016 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved. Terms of use and Your privacy.
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.