Telling one’s HIV status on a first date is quite difficult. With all the other matters one is required to deal with, i.e. meds, energy, SSI, survival, doctors, facing drug failure etc., why ruin one evening or afternoon when you don't have that many good ones anyway?
The comfort of just being alive and out with somebody is of far more value to people than worrying about being asked or required to meet that duty on a first date. If there's a second or third and then sex, then of course it's one’s duty to talk about it then—though one also has the option to keep the sex safe in the first place.
Gay boys now are not in general mature enough or informed enough to have a remote clue what it means to be positive in the first place. I can tell you that right here in the so-called gay mecca of San Francisco, the QUEENS cast a very large net over all positive people socially, to a point where you are black-listed in secret and looked upon as unworthy. It's all very hush hush, but the reality TV here is that if you’re a positive person, you’re not getting a date or invited to lunch or dinner for that matter.
They give lip service to being open minded in public or in social gatherings, but secretly 98% here don't want to even deal with the issue. I have clients that solve this problem by only dating other positive people. It settles the dust real fast and one moves on far better than with the pain of rejection.
I would even say, having been here since 1975 myself, that it's NOT all their fault that they don’t deal with this subject very well. Look at how hard life has become for people in general. Look who is in the White House for Christ’s sake. That alone is enough to deal with on a daily basis—poz or neg!
