July/August #173 : Sisters Act - by Regan Hofmann and Willette Francis

POZ - Health, Life and HIV
Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:

Back to home » Archives » POZ Magazine issues




Table of Contents
 

Features

Sisters Act

The Anal Dialogues

From the Editor

Ass-Backward

Feedback

Letters- July/August 2011

The POZ Q+A

Volunteer Mission

What You Need to Know

Kramer Makes Hearts Pound on Broadway

Nearly 7 Out of 10 Young People Are Having Sex

Film About Positive Kids Prevents HIV in Thailand

HIV Wasn’t a Motive for Triple Ax Murder

Angels Travel on Horseback in Southern Africa

Showcasing HIV Stigma in China

HIV Is (Officially) a Disability

96 Percent

We Hear You

Lips Unsealed

What Matters to You

How to Age With HIV—Gracefully

Treatment News

Help for Peripheral Neuropathy

HIV-Positive? Get Screened for Anal Cancer

Isolation Hurts Health

New and Improved Treatment for Hep C

MRSA Monster Tamed

Too Little Vitamin D Might Hurt Your Heart

IL-7

Comfort Zone

Between the Covers

POZ Heroes

Each One, Reach One

   
Most Popular Lessons

The HIV Life Cycle

Shingles

Herpes Simplex Virus

Syphilis & Neurosyphilis

Treatments for Opportunistic Infections (OIs)

What is AIDS & HIV?

Hepatitis & HIV


email print

July / August 2011

Sisters Act

by Regan Hofmann and Willette Francis


Dottie Rains, 35,  Educator; Mercer County, New Jersey
I learned I was HIV positive during a routine checkup. They asked if I wanted to take an HIV test, and I said sure, because I was having unprotected sex. You know, to be honest, I was educated about [how to prevent HIV], but I guess being a teenager, you think: It can’t happen to me. So—’cause you know how they say teenagers think they are invincible and that nothing can happen to them—basically I felt that way at the time. I felt that things like HIV happen to other people, not me. I was diagnosed at age 16.

Dottie RainsEven though I had learned about HIV/AIDS from sex education in school, I still didn’t know how to negotiate safer sex. I didn’t have the necessary skills to apply what I had learned to a real-life situation, when you’re hot and heavy and your 
hormones are raging.

And when you’re growing up in an urban area with a dysfunctional family structure, condom use is not high on the list of priorities. My mother was a drug user. She went through programs for her addiction, but I think she was still getting high. We were focused on those basic things that you need in order to survive—getting food, clothing and shelter. Those were more important than worrying about protection.

I wasn’t even living at home with my mother. I was living with a family friend in North New Jersey. I called her my aunt, and she was my legal guardian. Even though she accepted me in her home like I was one of her children, provided food and shelter, it still wasn’t home. I felt rejected by my mother, and I really needed to feel loved and accepted. The process of trying to find that brought along a whole bunch of other issues—becoming HIV positive. I always dated guys who were older than me. I don’t know who infected me. You just find yourself in a situation where you’re like, wow, you were searching for one thing but you wind up with something else.

I did not start HIV treatment right after I got my diagnosis. I didn’t feel sick, so I didn’t feel like I needed medication. Almost two years later, I started treatment because I was pregnant with my son. I was now responsible for my baby’s life, so I needed to do everything I could to make sure that I wouldn’t transmit the virus to him. My son is HIV negative.

By this time, I had left my guardian’s home. I moved to Trenton and began living at Rainbow House, a group home. There I started to get on my feet, finished school, gained parenting and life skills and blossomed. I started to do work around HIV and AIDS, telling my story, educating people—trying to lessen the stigma around HIV.

I believe having better self-esteem and understanding who I was as a woman would have helped me stay negative. 

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Search: New Jersey, New Jersey Women and AIDS Network, NJWAN, pregnancy, monogamy, incarceration


Scroll down to comment on this story.

email print



Name:

(will display; 2-50 characters)

Email:

(will NOT display)

City:

(will display; optional)

Comment (500 characters left):

(Note: The POZ team reviews all comments before they are posted. Please do not include either ":" or "@" in your comment. The opinions expressed by people providing comments are theirs alone. They do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Smart + Strong, which is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by people providing comments.)

Comments require captcha.
Please enter this number for verification:

| Posting Rules



Hide comments

Previous Comments:


         

[Go to top]

Facebook Twitter Google+ MySpace YouTube Tumblr Flickr Instagram
Quick Links
Current Issue

HIV Testing
Safer Sex
Find a Date
Newly Diagnosed
HIV 101
Disclosing Your Status
Starting Treatment
Help Paying for Meds
Search for the Cure
POZ Stories
POZ Opinion
POZ Exclusives
Read the Blogs
Visit the Forums
Job Listings
Events Calendar
POZ on Twitter

Ask POZ Pharmacist

Talk to Us
Poll
Should the U.S. gay blood ban end?
Yes
No

Survey
Smoke Signals

more surveys
Contact Us
We welcome your comments!
[ about Smart + Strong | about POZ | POZ advisory board | partner links | advertising policy | advertise/contact us | site map]
© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved. Terms of use and Your privacy.
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.