Columbus, Ohio
Positive since 2012

“I’m not a different person.”

I find myself constantly saying that; it’s been hard to maintain that mantra but overall it is true. I’m not a different person.



“Manageable” is what you hear about HIV a lot of time. Along with, “It’s no big deal” and “You can live a long and healthy life.” But the reality has become that living with this condition is a new normal…at least for me.



On May 15, 2012, I was diagnosed with a condition that has forever changed my life. On that sunny day in May, I was diagnosed HIV positive. And since that day I’ve made it a personal mission to ensure that the sentiment only contains positive connotations. No pun intended. But if you find humor in these sorts of things, then by all means laugh. That’s what got me through it.

I’ll never forget what a health department counselor said to me in a blunt manner: “Columbus is a disease-ridden cesspool. We have a huge problem with HIV and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and we can’t seem to control them.” His attitude toward the subject shook me and repulsed me until I was able to gather my thoughts. It suddenly became clear. How could they control them?



Here in Columbus, sex education is limited to abstinence-only education, and much of the gay male community is misinformed or uneducated in terms of their sexual health. A simple cursory glance into online hookup sites like Adam4Adam and Manhunt, and apps such as Grindr, Growlr, Scruff and Bear411, reveals how easy it is to have quick casual encounters with little information given about the sexual partners.



It’s true that it’s up to the individual to make decisions that could adversely affect one’s own health, but the alarming rise of STIs, particularly syphilis, and the pervasive nature of such steady HIV infection rates can’t be ignored. HIV and STI rates among college-age students are strikingly high, so it’s no wonder those in the sexual health field are on edge.



I, for one, cannot judge others. I’m in the situation I am in because I made a risky decision. I indulged in behavior that I knew could have a negative impact on my life. But like many others, I thought I was too smart to have this happen to me. I thought I knew too much about HIV and STIs to make poor sexual decisions. But living with that kind of hubris, it was simply a matter of time.



After my diagnosis, I kept a good attitude and pressed forward. My first objective was to change my habits and improve my overall health. I was suddenly filled with a new desire for longevity and an overwhelming desire to live a full life of accomplishment. I should have always desired these things, but prior to my diagnosis, it was more about the heat of the moment and the thrill of an encounter than my own safety.



We talk about what a problem HIV/AIDS is and how it ends up devastating so many lives. But we don’t talk enough about what it is like to actually have to deal with the condition of HIV.



Not to mention what steps one has to take in order to access treatment without health insurance—although hopefully with the Affordable Care Act things will be a little smoother for more people in the future. I currently lack affordable health care and must seek it out through other avenues in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This journey requires meeting after meeting with local resources, completing form after form, making phone call after phone call. There is a certain mental anguish that comes from attempting to complete all the steps required.



People need to understand the truth; there is a serious void in our discussion of HIV. Far too few are talking about HIV realistically. It’s my hope that by being truthful and explaining the harsh reality of the situation I can help prevent others from making poor decisions like I made. I’m making sure that others in my community have the tools to make sure they are aware of the serious issues surrounding their health.

What three adjectives best describe you?
Spontaneous, determined, dedicated

What is your greatest achievement?
Speaking on regional and national platforms about my life and experiences

What is your greatest regret?
Dropping out of college when I was 18 and not realizing I had what it took to make it at the time

What keeps you up at night?
The idea that I haven’t crossed off everything from my daily to do list!

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?
I would change the harmful stigma that surrounds HIV so that we might better educate the public and keep people uninfected.

What is the best advice you ever received?
“Circle today on the calendar, draw and arrow forward and never look back.”

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?
There are so many I find it hard to narrow it down. The fact that it’s a whole host of people both infected and affected that contribute to the fight and that I get to be a part of it is most admirable.

What drives you to do what you do?
The knowledge that I can help just one person and that could turn into helping others

What is your motto?
If nothing in this world were attainable, how would we know if we didn’t at least try?

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?
If we are speaking about possessions, then it would be my viola. It has given me so much joy in life. But if we’re speaking in a broader sense, then of course my dog.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?
My partner calls me a little koala. I’m not sure why, but I think that’s the most suitable answer that I could ever come up with.