At this social club for HIV-positive grandmothers, membership has its privileges.
Arlene Frames
“I just wasn’t getting what I needed from my HIV support groups,” says Arlene Frames, a 48-year-old grandmother of four who was diagnosed with HIV in 1987. “Long-term survivors [were] in the same groups with the younger, newly diagnosed. Most of the discussions were about their issues, which is understandable, but there wasn’t much for me.”
Frames, who works as an HIV peer educator and public speaker in Los Angeles, soon found that other older positive women felt the same way. “So many of us are dealing with [other] health issues,” she says, “like the responsibility of raising our grandchildren and just growing older.”
So in February of 2007, Frames and 16 positive L.A. grandmothers met at a restaurant—and the Grand Ma Red Diva Society was born. “It was amazing,” she says. “We had such a good time laughing and talking.”
But Frames is clear: The women do more than drink coffee and show off pictures of their kids. They have become community prevention leaders, with funding from McCarthy pharmacy and Women at Risk, an ASO that provides education and other support for HIV-positive women. “Since so many of us work in the health field and the community, we wanted to give back to those who gave to us,” Frames says.
As their budget grows, the society wants to provide etiquette classes for youth, mentor young girls, promote healthier eating and exercise, do outreach in shelters and even “adopt” an African grandmother who is rearing her grandchildren.
“This group has been a blessing,” says Elizabeth Marte, a 46-year-old grandmother of two. “It has enhanced my life.” Adds Frames: “We needed to celebrate life, especially when so many of us never thought we would live to see our kids grow up.”
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comments 1 - 5 (of 5 total)
teri, allentown pa, 2008-09-22 13:06:54
im a grandmother of 8 and i dont get to see them. i would love pen pals to talk to. i find im alone with no one so if would to talk write me teri
smily, springfield, 2008-08-25 09:37:55
Hi iam 45 year old grandmother of 2 who was diagnosed in 1983 iam now a med adh peer counselor.I am so glad i found this site go divas witch we had something for grandmothers in spfld. Mass.
Linda, Ft Worth, 2008-08-23 17:40:23
Earlier this year I was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. My viral load more than 100,000 and CD4 was 36. My significant other is negative. I am 53 years old and a grandmother of 5 with one on the way. While I am a RN, this has been life changing. My brother who also works in the medical field just called me to tell me of this site. I am so thankful that he did. Just to know that I am not the only HIV grandmom, gives me support. Thank you
corri, pennsauken, 2008-08-21 22:49:00
i am so inspired by ur strength that u giv me reason 2 keep doin what im doin keep n touch may god bless u i am on the personals as corri 64 im straight i hav a story 2 tell
christina moore, new windsor,ny, 2008-08-16 11:22:53
I think your group is a great thing thats been been needed for far too long. I too am a grandmother that was diagnosed in 1988. I have 12 grandchildren. Have lived long enough to bury a child and have issues quite different than the newly diagnosed. I applaud you all. Viva La Diva's...
"I'm HIV positive and diabetic (as well as have high cholesterol) and some of my meds specify taking them with 'high fat foods' which I have to do twice a day. I've eaten as healthy as possible, but when it comes to high fat foods, I am in a quandary...about what to eat sometimes..."
