Mesa, Arizona
Positive since 1985

I officially tested positive in 1986, soon after the Surgeon General’s report officially recognizing AIDS was published in July. I was at a friend’s apartment in Long Beach, California, and he was reading the Sunday paper. After reading the story aloud, he stated that given our lifestyle, we were probably infected and there was no one to blame. I wholeheartedly agreed. I had been working as a dancer with the Longhorns of West Hollywood back then, and in 1985 I felt that something was wrong but didn’t say anything.



My relationship in Long Beach went wrong and I took a transfer to Mesa, Arizona, with Hughes Helicopters and McDonnell Douglas.



When I got there, I went to the Shanti Group in Phoenix and saw men and boys who were dying of AIDS. It scared me that I would soon be like them. I found a doctor who saw me every six months. My immune system was at 1,500 CD4 cells. Meds didn’t start until the immune system went under 300.



I finally told my family that I had HIV and they were good about that. They all expected to take care of me. I was even encouraged to max out my credit cards, which I later regretted.



Meanwhile, I was under pressure at work to program the process that showed if we were overrunning cost after a huge material write-off. That was 1989 and that program is still running today, in its third or fourth life from mainframe to Oracle.


I was happy with my doctor but he became very sarcastic toward me, so I found my current doctor. I get eight vials of blood taken every three months and an annual physical. They have taken up to 13 vials during the annual physical. This year in April, my PSA (prostate-specific antigen test) registered 16.1, and normal is range 0.0 to 4.0. I’m not looking forward to the biopsy.



At least I’ve had a normal life and I don’t have AIDS. Just side effects from being a long-time survivor and the long-term effects of the medications.

What three adjectives best describe you?
Sensitive, shy, slut

What is your greatest achievement?
Being studied by NASA scientists in 1969 because I had a blur spin as a professional figure skater

What is your greatest regret?
That I left Helmut in Vienna in 1972

What keeps you up at night?
I’m not really liked at work. Being HIV positive in Mesa, Arizona, no one wants to be seen as a friend of mine.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?
No one wants to wear a condom. I’ve been hit on by married men at work who change their mind when I tell them my status.

What is the best advice you ever received?
Keep it simple, stupid. And that people don’t like me because they don’t like themselves.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?
Everyone who contributes to the fight

What drives you to do what you do?
I wake up every morning and I have a job that I have to get done.

What is your motto?
Instaurator Ruinae (repairer of ruin)

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?
My dog and cat

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?
I guess I’m a puppy. I wish I could be more like a cat.