September #137 : Sexpert-September 2007 - by Logan Levkoff

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Trouble in Paradise

The Shore Thing

Heads of the Class

Solo Shot

Got Milk Thistle?

The Elite Meet

We've Got Your Number

Flu Fight

Doctors Ordered

Priority Male

Condoms on the Side

Sexpert-September 2007

Trainer's Bench-September 2007

Get a Nightlife

Cheat Sheet

The Food Network

The Princess and the HIV

Our Space


Crowning Achievement

Hot Dates-September 2007

The Jury is Out

Holding Out for a Hero

28 Profiles in Courage

Blown Sideways

Star Billing

Editor's Letter-September 2007

Mailbox-September 2007

Catch of the Month-September 2007

Most Popular Lessons

The HIV Life Cycle


Herpes Simplex Virus

Syphilis & Neurosyphilis

Treatments for Opportunistic Infections (OIs)

What is AIDS & HIV?

Hepatitis & HIV

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September 2007

Sexpert-September 2007

by Logan Levkoff

Does your partner’s pleasure include yours?

I’m an HIV-positive man; my boyfriend is negative. I have a lot of precum, so he gags when performing oral sex, and we have to stop. I lose my erection, but my boyfriend  wants to continue—so I play along to help him get off. However, he doesn’t try to help me. I feel used and cheap. Help?

By consistently “playing along,” you have perhaps forgotten your personal needs. Have you spoken to him? A good partner doesn’t want the person he cares about feeling “used and cheap.” Maybe by talking to him, you’ll hear that your partner wants to please you—but doesn’t know how. One option to discuss: condoms during oral sex. This might eliminate the precum problem, reduce the risk of transmission to your negative partner and allow him to please you in a way that is pleasurable for him. (Think: mint flavored or cherry?) As for increasing your own pleasure—what does help you maintain an erection? Erotic flicks? Sex toys? Suggest how your partner can include these practices into your sex life so you can sit back and enjoy too.

Logan Levkoff holds an MS degree in Human Sexuality Education and contributes sexual advice for the likes of MTV, Oprah and Cosmopolitan. Have a question? E-mail

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