Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Positive since 1987

I’m an African-American, same-gender-loving man, born and reared in the Midwest, in Gary, Indiana, and Chicago, Illinois. The church was a major part of my upbringing and greatly influenced my morals and values. It affected my belief about myself and my attraction to the same sex. And this, along with abandonment and mental and physical abuse, caused me to seek an escape, which I found in drugs and alcohol at the age of 13.

My drug use started with marijuana and progressed to cocaine and crack, which led to prostitution, theft and other criminal acts. My addiction eventually landed me in jail at the age of 20, and I faced 30 to 60 years in prison for murder. I turned 21 and tested HIV positive in the summer of ’87.

During these dramatic and life-changing events, God spoke to me. As I received the notice that I had tested HIV positive, my mind was flooded with some familiar scriptures. And at that moment I knew I would be OK.

Three months later, I was acquitted of the murder charges and released, but due to unaddressed issues, my drug addiction continued. Although I had faith that I would be all right, that didn’t stop me from putting myself and others at risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

I left my hometown in ’88 and I lived in Minneapolis and Oklahoma City until 1991, leaving pain, hurt and destruction along the way.

In 1991, I met a man who was a national gospel recording artist and he took an interest in me. He would later become my best friend. He was the first same-gender-loving man who just loved me and didn’t seem to have an ulterior motive, except for my well-being. This hadn’t been my experience since coming out as bisexual and entering the gay community.

In January 1992, I had a spiritual awakening while attending a revival at a Pentecostal Church of God In Christ. This awakening was like no other spiritual experience in my existence, and my life immediately began to change. I attempted to stop everything I thought was evil, sinful and wrong. The evils I thought I needed to stop included drugs, alcohol and homosexuality. The struggle not to have interactions with men was the hardest to stop. I prayed, fasted and even had people pray over me to stop having the desire for men.

Every two or three months, when I could no longer fight it, I would succumb to a drug binge, which included hours and days of unprotected sex with random men.

The struggle with my sexuality and drugs continued for another two years until the summer of 1994, when I entered a drug treatment center. This was the relief I had been seeking, because while in treatment I began to understand myself as an addict. And I began to accept my sexuality as my truth, and not a demonic spirit that I needed to be delivered from, as so many people in the religious community had told me.

I began a new journey that included not denying my sexuality and its relevant place in my existence. I attended AA meetings, and psychotherapy assisted me on my road to freedom. And for the first time in years I began to live. This new freedom allowed me to disclose my sexuality and my HIV status in the church,  which led me to finding my purpose, which was to educate, assist and promote self-healing to men and women, specifically those struggling with self-acceptance because of substance abuse, incarceration, and testing HIV positive.

This journey has lead me from Minneapolis to San Francisco, New Orleans, Dallas, North Carolina, and Philadelphia, where I now reside. Walking in my truth allowed me to get my GED after dropping out of high school in the 11th grade and to graduate with honors from Lincoln University, the country’s first historically black university to grant degrees, with a master’s in human services. I am pursuing a master’s of science with a concentration in mental health counseling to become a licensed practical counselor.

My ability to accept my own sexuality and HIV status has allowed me to speak at  universities, churches and a range of community events. And my openness has allowed me to be a listening ear for many other same-gender-loving brothers,  especially those who are African American.

The stigma, shame and embarrassment around HIV/AIDS and homosexuality in the minority community continues to affect the increase of this epidemic among men who have sex with men (MSM). I have been living with HIV for 27 years, and thanks be to God I have never had an opportunistic infection. However, I remember all those individuals who have transitioned since 1985. And I will educate, inspire and uplift for the rest of my life in memory of my friends who didn’t get this awesome opportunity I’ve been granted.

What three adjectives best describe you?
Honest, consistent and compassionate

What is your greatest achievement?
My ability to walk in my truth unapologetically and to continue to seek freedom on every level

What is your greatest regret?
My lack of knowledge, which would have allowed me to be free sooner

What keeps you up at night?
The continued rise of HIV infection among MSM and black-on-black violence

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?
I wouldn’t change anything. I wouldn’t be the man I am if not for HIV.

What is the best advice you ever received?
You can’t love anyone until you love yourself.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?
Alice Holmes. Her commitment to the education, testing and services of individuals infected and affected continues to be a inspiration.

What drives you to do what you do?
My knowing that when a person knows different, they can do different, and not until

What is your motto?
Nothing beats a failure but a try.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?
My dog

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?
I would be a dog, because they are unconditionally loyal and committed to those they love.