June 30, 2008

Ida Byther-Smith

Ida Byther-Smith, 58, has been living with HIV/AIDS for the last 20 years, and she has experienced firsthand the pain caused by stigma. Now she is working toward eliminating that stigma by giving lectures, writing books and educating people in her religious community. She’s also done something she hopes will help people who suffer several layers of stigma: In 2003, she created Jo-Ray House, a shelter for HIV-positive men coming out of prison.

Why did you open Jo-Ray House?

I was in hospice in 2001—[the doctors] gave me up to die. After I recovered, I learned that there were men who were coming out of the penal system [who had discovered that they were] HIV positive, and their families didn’t want them at home. I wanted to give something back to the community in my brother’s and my mother’s names. So I opened up a house for these men emerging from of the penal system who are infected or affected by the virus. I wanted to help them, and by helping them I thought I would be helping women too, because [with support and discussion] the men wouldn’t be out there fooling around with women [without protection].

What services does Jo-Ray House offer?

I often say that Jo-Ray is a transitional house of high society. Jo-Ray looks better than my house! At Jo-Ray we provide support groups and help with religious and financial services. We have agreements and linkages with health care and dental care providers, as well as social support groups. We do so much on so little. Jo-Ray House is funded through state grants. We haven’t gotten federal funds, but we’ve been trying to.

How has HIV stigma affected you?

I’ve had people tell me that I must have done something wrong for God to punish me [with HIV]. I’ve had women look down their nose at me. I’ve felt like a fish out of water. When people from my church first found out, a lot of them turned their backs on me. I’ve had church folks not wanting to use the bathroom because I’ve gone in there. I came from Mississippi; I know discrimination when I get it. A lot of people are still uncomfortable with HIV/AIDS, even 27 years after the virus first broke out. But when I first found out my status, most of the people who embraced me were gay white men.

Do you support abstinence education?
 
I believe in abstinence, but I live in the real world. I’m abstinent now, but back when I was a teenager, I can’t say that I believed in it! You have to give people the choice. There are men and women out there that talk a powerful amount. You can be saying “no,” and someone gets to blowing on you hard enough and making you feel good, you’ll be coming out of your clothes saying, “Don’t stop.”

I think you’re supposed to teach people how to prevent disease and take care of themselves. I’m not against condoms; I believe in B.Y.O.C.—bring your own condom. Adults tell teens  “just say no.” We can [tell them that] all day long, but suppose they slip up? When I was a teenager, the only thing people had to worry about was getting pregnant. Now there is stuff out there that teens can get that can kill them.

With this being an election year, what do you of think of the Bush administration’s response to HIV?

You don’t want to know—the government might send a hit man after me! I don’t think [the president] is putting enough into health care. The way they’re closing clinics for us, I have the feeling that someone is saying, “They’re not dying fast enough.”

Why would you go somewhere and make up someone else’s bed, and you’re sleeping on stone? I care about other countries too, but why keep your own country undone? When I advocate, I advocate for all. But when Bush is sending money to other countries, I’m inclined to ask, what about us? People love to do things out of sight and out of mind to help their conscience, so that they can say, “I gave.” But they didn’t give in the right way, so they might as well not have given at all.

For more information on Jo-Ray House: jorayhouse.com

NEW! Scroll down to comment on this story.

Name:	(2-50 characters)
Email:	(will not show)
City:	(optional)

Comment (500 characters left):

(Note: The POZ team review all comments before they are posted. Please do not include either ":" or "@" in your comment.)

| Posting Rules

Previous Comments:

Deloris Toole, Pittsburg, ca., 2008-09-04 12:43:17
Hey Ida I don't know if u remember me as your roomate when we went to jamacia. Glad to see that you are so active in the cause. Keep it up

Sista Yaa, Chicago, 2008-07-08 17:53:31
Once again Ida you have shown your talent, beauty and humanity. I am grateful for your services and your inspiring words. Know that as your light shine the darkness will be attracted to your presence and then you can share your light with those who need it most. Congratulation on your article!

Kathy, Oak Lawn, 2008-07-08 16:17:45
This is a well written article with answers to many questions. Ida is an author of We're All Connected through McClure Publishing. She is an excellent woman and an outstanding writer. Thanks for opening Joe-Ray House.

mary r smith, , 2008-07-08 15:05:43
I THINK THIS ARTICLE IS SO RIGHT ON. MY NIECE IS SPECIAL CARING AND LOVING. IDA KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK JORAY HOUSE KEEP MOVING ON AND ON.