The soul: What's a nice kid like you doing in a joint like this?

Heaven and Hell definitely exist, but only before you die.

Vices aren't sins, they're consolations.

The Rosary is Catholicism's version of transcendental meditation.

Virtue is its own reward, but it's otherwise unrewarded.

Churches and theaters look and function identically.

In life, ambition and desperation are only marginally different.

Eternal life is unnecessary when eternity exists in every moment.

Jesus smiles, but Buddha laughs.