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I appreciate Poz reminding us in Mark Leydorf's sensitive article on suicide that HIV still packs a wallop emotionally and that with other risk factors, like substance use, domestic violence and depression, people with HIV are at greater risk of potentially falling into the pit of despair. This remains why being part of a supportive community of peers is so important for HIVers. It helps inoculates us against the worst potentiality of isolation. Well done! Christopher Murray Psychotherapist Ne
Im 52-poz for 22 years-never thought I would live this long.I struggle now with suicidal thoughts daily.Im in a limbo where Im not going to go away anytime soon, but really dont have the energy to do full time work.I cant buy a date, even though I dont look ill, and think im in pretty good shape for a poz 52.I keep thinking-Is this as good as it gets?.Yet I think of how lucky I am compared to my peers who passed before effective drugs came along.
Great article! Nate sounds like a wonderful guy. I've found that men who lived through the AIDS crisis (perhaps I should add "in urban areas"... maybe not), like people who survived other mass traumas (the holocaust, for example) have a similar gravitas about them as well as an aura suggesting that by embracing the mysteries of life, including its tragedies, one opens a door to the richness of life.
For almost 2 decades several of my friends & most of my sex partners were poz, as neg I faced my fear of HIV, I opened my acceptance by loving them. I wasn't afraid of HIV. A year ago I tested poz. I took responsibility for myself, my risks.But I knew I could survive. I definitely was scared, but I was inspired & supported by those before me. To be anything less would dishonor those I loved. I understand thoughts of suicide but I believe in a better option, to live. There's always hope.
Well laid out and glad that Nate has found the strenght to move forward. Only one comment, as one over 50, my life is not filled with loss but is an integral component of my being and recognizing the loss of many friends is both sad and sweet. It is just another part for us who are older to deal with.
Roger
As the Intake Coordinator for a metro area, I received referrals post-test counseling. In the capacity, I further collected information in order to connect the person to an appropriate case management provider. It's imperative that all state prevention and care programs have a linkage to care program; such as with KC Free Health Clinic in Kansas City.
February 6, 2012