Follow the Money
Dealing with AIDS -- and AIDS Inc. -- isn't fun and games. Here's a practice round for the real thing.
Like it or not, our announcer called your name. How will you fare in this unfair game? Will you hit candlelight vigils or candlelight dinners? Will you burn up the APLA conga line or burn out on the local hotline?
Take your turn in the hot seat. It's on POZ.
Dame Liz invites you to an amfAR soiree.
Reminisce about chocolate martinis with Rock and take home a White Diamonds party bag.
Pay $50,000 per ticket.
Move from Gotham to Green Acres.
New rural doc has only 25 patients, so no more "What's your combo again?" But how up is she on salvage therapy?
Resubscribe to 25 newsletters.
Free happy-hour condoms are back!
Why hit RiteAid when you can stock up at Rawhide? Some ASOs shell out $6,500 each year for latex.
Call the mayor for more.
ADAP drops your OI med to save.
Helms-led Republicans attack federal AIDS funding as too high for too long. But private giving for cancer clocks in at 60% of research dollars -- AIDS' is 5%.
Get Geffen to chip in for giant condom for Helms' house.
Buy microbicides at corner market.
Pending 5-year $375 million congressional funding for R&D, that is. Hello, Hillary?
Next: Chicks get 80 cents for a man's $1!
Rush to ER with mysterious rash.
Doc misdiagnoses it as drug related.
Go off combo, go back to start.
New honey dodges names reporting by testing at an anonymous clinic.
Not so fast -- now she's uncounted by federal AIDS bean-counters.
Make a donation.
Lucky Lazzie, you landed your dream job, so you're off disability and on private insurance.
Now there's a monthly $150 Rx cap and your six anti-HIV meds take you over the top.
Paycheck spent on pills, not that Prada suit.
You need a clean needle to shoot up.
But cops are baiting the local exchange, so you shell out $2 for a sterile syringe from a street buddy (pharmacies buy them for about a dime).
No money for rehab: Go back to jail.
Get out of jail free!
But after getting clean inside, the warden sends you off with only one week of meds.
Call your P.O. ASAP!
Run for local office.
It beats going back to work. Should your Capitol venture take Big Pharma dollars? (Industry shelled out 18 mil bipartisan bucks in 2000.)
Take a cruise.
Credit maxed out? In 1995, you could have viaticated all the way to Antigua, but payouts are down 50%.
Cruise the park.
But San Fran housing honchos say lucky HIVers on now-closed wait list might get a place -- in 20 years.
Hitchhike to L.A., sleep under a star.
Forgot to have a baby?
You're still getting screwed -- all AIDS funds at your local women's clinic are earmarked for pre-natal care.
Point to your protease paunch!
Hey, Mickey, let's start a magazine!
Your itch for a niche gets you nothing but grief from both PCs -- the politically correct and pharma companies.
Take the readers' love to the bank.