Gay? Straight? Single? Interested? Negative? Aw, skip it.
Your status will weed out the phonies, at least.
A phone number on a matchbook: Cinderella's slipper?
That ugly guy is carrying a bouquet for someone.
A four-hour affair is as long as Gone With the Wind.
Multiple partners: Time-lapse Russian roulette.
Postcoital guilt: Brushing your teeth after eating candy.
Beware the lover on constant call-waiting.
You can lead a jackass to nectar, but you can't make him drink.
Even if you win the Love Lottery, there will be taxes.
The heart is a VIP room for a very important few.