My name is Allison, and I am HIV positive. I was born May 24, 1986. We had the perfect family: mom, dad, big brother and me. My brother started getting sick, and the doctors weren’t sure what was wrong with him. The doctors told my parents they would do an HIV test. The test came back positive. My brother was just a baby at the time, and I was a newborn. My whole family was tested. My mom, my brother and I were all positive. My dad was negative. As an adult and mother now, I can only imagine how my parents were feeling, especially my dad who was told he would survive, but we would not. The doctors basically said we didn’t have much of a life expectancy.

When I was 7 years old, my mother died. I was very sad, angry and scared. I always wondered when I was going to die. Was I going to suffer like her? As I got older, I contemplated suicide because I wanted to be in control of my death. I knew I didn’t want to suffer like I watched my mom suffer.

What three adjectives best describe you?

Strong. Respectful. Caring.

What is your greatest achievement?

My greatest achievement is staying on the right track, living and thriving. I took some wrong turns along the way, but today I can finally say I am proud of who I am.

What is your greatest regret?

My greatest regret is having sex and not telling the partner I was HIV positive until after it. I should have told them before, but I knew I wouldn’t “get any.” That happened four different times.

What keeps you up at night?

I always think I am dying, even though I have been undetectable most of my life. The fear is very real. It hurts my heart. I want to be around for my husband and kids.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

The medication sucks, but the stigma sucks even more.

What is the best advice you ever received?

These quotes gave me the best advice:

“If we all threw our problems into one big pile and got to pick, we would probably grab ours back, fast.” —Unknown

“Keep on keeping on.” —Joe Dirt

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

I admire Grissel Granados. She is strong, dedicated and thriving. She has helped me to be comfortable sharing my story.

What drives you to do what you do?

I want to get rid of the labels and hate in this world. We are all human beings. There should be no other categories. HIV has no face, race or gender. Mistakes happen. Don’t let HIV be your mistake.

What is your motto?

Life is beautiful, and you only live once, so choose your mistakes carefully. Love your loved ones, and be kind to everyone because you have no idea where their shoes have walked.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

If my family and my dog were already out, I would honestly grab my cannabis.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?

I would be a butterfly. No one ever says, “That butterfly is ugly.” Butterflies are beautiful creatures that usually make people smile.