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I like to add some other concepts of coming out where it is more about coming out to oneself to be strong and prepared to address a wrong with courage and a powerful network of friends. The coming out for HIV is about you and you, not your neighbor. So maybe coming out is personal and a personal journey to get connected to the truth. I agree that the coming out loud and proud can be harmful to many, but come out to yourself in the strength you have today,not to lie to you one day at a time
of course, I felt guilty throughout the whole article. But one line got to me, it was how my coming out Poz was going to benefit the whole HIV community. But how is it going to benefit ME. While helping a mass, am I hurting myself? still after 15 years, I don't think my family is ready for the news.
I live in a small city in TN and let me tell u that there is no way I am coming out as gay n this town let alone HIV+. I have been positive since '83. When I lived in Nashville it was easier but still not accepted by any means. I was out and proud and then when my employer, Marriott, found out I was positive they fired me. They trumped up a bogus reason but they made it happen. I would love to be able to be less deceptive but.... Not happening in TN...
I humbly disagree with your assertion that HIV Stigma and Shame are powerful foes. They are only powerful if those of us living with HIV give them that power. I choose to live my life openly and have lived with HIV since 1985. I live in the mind set of GRATITUDE. And I believe it is a spiritual calling for ALL HIV POSITVE SOULS to honor all of those who died of this disease by holding our heads HIGH WITH OUT ANY SHAME. I am blessed with life and let everyone know ALL THAT I AM !!!
This HIV Coming Out Day is a bad idea. It puts the infection before the individual so that's all the uninfected will see. And why make certain private aspects of one's life public fodder? It's just wrong and over-reaching.
Bad idea. Publicly coming out as HIV poz won't help and is guaranteed to make one a target. Coming out to friends and loved ones is different and can be a powerful agent for change. For us older gay guys who blazed the trail for today's younger gay generation & are survivors, there is much we could teach today's young gays, yet the barrier is continuing ageism that is rampant in the gay community - THAT is truly shameful and destructive to us all!
If I were to come out and admit that I have aids, here in Bethlehm,I may as well kill myself. Some people have not realize that there are some of us who live in places where beign gay is not acceptable and having aids is like having the plague.
~birch
HIV=symptom, not the cause. Social oppression (internalized, structural, in our communities)allows a virus to pass through our biological and psycho-social immune systems. The question is what heals and strengthens our personal/collective boundary system? An International HIV Coming Out day IS truly necessary. If you are not safe to come out do not do so but imagine how the over-all culture will evolve that one day may make it safer for you too.
March 21, 2013 • Victoria, BC