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Challenging My Own Bigotry

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“I’m not judging people who are undetectable. I’m just refusing to have sex with them, despite decades of scientific evidence illustrating that’s s horrible idea with no actual health utility”. Ok, got it. Not only are you a bigot, but now we’re not even allowed to call you on it.

August 7, 2019 Cleveland, OH


I don't understand why when someone choices to avoid HIV+ & Positive Undetectable people the next logical leap suggests we do so because; he are JUDGING those who are HIV infected. FOR THE RECORD HIV- people who avoid HIV+ people don't care & aren't judging how and why folks became HIV PoZ. I don't make moral judgments about dope addicts or what folk like to do so long as I'm not included. I'm sad anyone his HIV+ & I'd cure it if I could. I DON'T WANT SEX WITH A HIV+ GUY. MY Personal CHOICE!

May 11, 2019 BALTIMORE


At least author is honest,when u are a double minority, I've experienced it all,racism against blacks,homophobia in black communities, H.I.V shaming among gays,u younger negative people, be glad u didn't experience what we did in the eighties, people fought for treatment and education ,gay rights u have right to date who u want,after 64 years i have retired from my sexlife its just to much work trying to navigate through dating sites older and H.I.V.

April 29, 2019 Tulsa


Guys, you all deserve someone hot who is already awake to HIV. Don't accept anyone less. I admire you all your honesty. As for the author of this article, well I think he's brave to have written it and his article will do more good than he's ever done bad. So, he shouldn't be condemned for coming clean. @WTHwy, don't give up, not all are asleep.

April 27, 2019 UK

Kevin Farrell

I am glad to see you are now “woke” but the damage has been done dude. As someone 40 years Poz I have one thing to say: too little, too late. You are rightfully ashamed of yourself. Go apologize personally to the people you hurt with your bigotry. An open letter in Poz patting yourself in the back for changing doesn’t cut it.

April 25, 2019 Los Angeles


After disclosing my undetectable status I go from Carte Blanche in the bed to cuddle! It's no wonder I'm still single. Getting sexual partners and meeting potential mates isn't the problem.... it's the ignorance by the gay men I meet.

April 25, 2019 Michigan


Now I wish that this type of honesty ran right to the topic of racism in the gay world. Men of color who are also poz have to deal with what is evident to us - the gay world is predominate a white man's world. Pretty much on par with the rest of the country. When will we tackle that topic in earnest?

April 24, 2019


This story is one of the reasons why I've been celibate for over seven years. I got tired of meeting men and having to maneuver disclosure. After being rejected several times, I decided it wasn't worth dealing with the ignorance and self-righteousness of men who I found, though being "accepted" by society at large for being gay, were still by far in the same boat as me. The damage runs deep. Not sure if I'll ever be able to deal with sex again. I wonder how many feel as I do?

April 24, 2019


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