Boston, Massachusetts

Positive since 1980

When I found out my diagnosis, I was two years into my marriage. I had never thought of using protection with my husband. I was married at 17, and I had waited to have sex until I was married. I didn’t know much about HIV because I hadn’t had sex education yet in high school and I did not get sex talks at home. When my ex told me he had been having an affair, I was like “What?” We had problems the previous few months because he wasn’t working and had been donating plasma. This is when he told me about his affair. He went to donate but was taken back to a room. When he came out, he said we had to go. On the way home, he was very quiet. He told me how much he loved me and that he had made a mistake. A mistake that he couldn’t erase but was going to have to live with: He was HIV positive.

I got tested, and it also came up positive. I isolated myself for almost five years. I stayed inside. I felt lost, and I went through a bad depression. Living in the South, my doctors were almost three hours away. One day, I realized I was still alive and didn’t have any problems. Both of my children were born negative. They gave me strength and determination to move forward. I went back to school, and for 19 years, I worked in nursing as a case manager for others living with HIV.

I’ve always had a passion for writing, and over the past few years, I have written four books. I also write for the Well Project website and am a member of Positive Women’s Network (PWN). PWN gives support to women, letting us know how important we are, and encourages us to stand up and push for better policies. They believe that women with HIV are very important and that women’s issues need to be looked at more. We each have a voice, but together we can truly make a difference.

Currently, I write and am very involved with my surrounding areas to educate the public and others on HIV. To speak for those who can’t. To help the community understand the face that America labels HIV with is not true. This is not a gay man’s disease. It can infect anyone. HIV does not discriminate. I did not let HIV get the best of me. I moved forward. It did take time, but 20 years later I am strong.                                              

What three adjectives best describe you?

Compassionate, passionate (about people and certain causes) and caring.

What is your greatest achievement?

Moving forward and educating others about HIV.

What is your greatest regret?

Not getting involved in the community sooner.

What keeps you up at night?

Nothing really.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

The isolation and the depression that comes with it and the fear of being rejected.

What is the best advice you ever received?

Move forward—live those dreams!

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

Maria Mejia. She stands up and speaks her mind. She is caring and outgoing. She tries to reach out and educate everyone in depth and on a personal level.

 

What drives you to do what you do?

To make a change to reduce stigma and show that HIV can infect anyone.

What is your motto?

I give hope to those who are hopeless. Life is not over. Live your dreams. It’s a new beginning.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

My medicine. I need it and treatment works. I wouldn’t be here today to tell my story without it.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?

A cat. A cat is calm, easygoing and goes with the flow.