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How to Cope When You’re Looking for Love but Finding HIV Stigma Instead

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14 Comments

Hopefully

Asking "Why do Poz seek negs?" is like asking "why do people with diabetes date? or" why don't don't deaf people speak" The question is not only ignorant but dangerous. It's not like everyone is walking around with a POZ badge. Media has put such bad light on HIV. They never show enough of the good side. It's always terrying hence why people are scared. You can't force someone to jump when they're scared of heights but you can hold their hand

May 6, 2020 South Africa

Glitter

I was diagnosed with HIV in 2016 and quite frankly it's been tough. Sure I'm undetectable and healthy but that's now how people view it. My ex bf said it wasn't a problem and I educated him about being undetectable and the drugs I take but we never got intimate. He just couldn't. That's the reality we have to face. You would think the LGTBQ community would know alot about HIV but boy was I fooled. So I remain single and probably will be for a while. I feel trapped and alone.

May 6, 2020 South Africa

MissMyFriend

I miss my close friend and former roommate. He passed away around 2009 after deciding one year before that he would stop taking HIV meds and let himself go. Stigma played a major role in my friend's death. A slow learner, he was a good looking socialite most of his life most happy ion a dance floor flirting and meeting guys. After he seroconverted all he saw online was rejection after rejection being fully upfront about his status. Finally he couldn't bear it - for him it was like a castration.

May 23, 2019 London, Ontario

gvilleterry

I give up! It's not worth my time or effort anymore to deal with such ignorance, paranoia, discrimination, stupidity from some men in the gay community. Respond all you want. I don't give a damn! I'm out of here!

December 11, 2018

TXKeith

It's stigma well-earned, in many cases. Let's just be honest.

December 6, 2018 TX

RichardUK

DarylF, as you and your partner probably noticed, normal childbirth is very messy and can be very bloody as well as traumatic. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Ceasarians can actually be controlled and less bloody than normal births. Medical people should know better than to just insist on a normal birth when a ceasarians might be much more appropriate in a given instance. HIV+ or not, the mother and child shouldn't be put at risk. Staff would not have actually been at any more risk.

December 5, 2018 UK

frankcar1965

Well Daniel, the reason is because the stigma is all you are going to get! Why bitch and moan about something that you can do NOTHING about? You are not going to change the opinion of the masses of gay men. There is almost NO chance that a neg will accept you. In the meantime, you may be missing out on a potential good match who just happens to be POZ. Who really wants to educate the typical shallow gay men who seem to inhabit the earth? Get on with it. You only have so much time.

December 4, 2018

Daniel

This magazine is kind of notorious for catering to low information serophobes and self hating Poz folks, and that is evident in some of the comments here. “Why not just only date other Poz people”? How out of touch! Maybe they’re 25 years old and not exactly chomping at the bit to dive into a population Where the mean age is 55. Maybe they live in a rural area that barely has a gay population, let alone a Poz population. Maybe they’re straight. Some of y’all are just dumb.

December 3, 2018 Cedar Rapids, IA

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