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I went from neg to full-blown AIDS in 3 weeks and almost died 11 years ago. The day my doc told me I was poz I thought my life was over. One thing he said made a big impact. He'd rather have HIV than diabetes. Unlike Mr. Hancock, I take 1 pill a day, see my doc 2 times a year and eat what I want. How would he feel if I said, "I don't want to be intimate with you since your chance of dying early is worse than mine?" His apology could have been shorter, truly contrite, not long-winded and lame.
Your apology cannot change the fact that you have a deeply flawed character. Sure, you may get over your irrational fear of people with HIV, but the way you have treated them shows how inconsiderate and self-centered you are. That will stay even if you start Truvada. Many people faced their fear of HIV, even back in the '80s, and found themselves to be bigger than it. You did not - and that lack of compassion I'm sure remains with you in many areas. Thank god I never ran into you!
Skyreader, let's not cut him a break. While few people were comfortable with HIV when neg, not everyone was backwards. I for one gave poz guys "the time of day". While I was deluded about the risk of my behaviors, I never once displayed much of what I see and deal with. I'm angered when people with HIV are told we deserve stigma if we weren't literally marching with ActUp before testing poz. David demonstrates The Arrogance of the Well and what is wrong with what this magazine has become.
Mr. Hancock, does your zest for making yourself feel better at others' expense have a limit point? To put it bluntly, your herd is exactly why we need a new militant AIDS activist movment. Seriously. I hope you write an honest, non self-serving, apology.
Honestly, this article feels like a lame attempt to maybe start to consider, at some point in the future, the possibility of the chance that maybe, one day, you could perhaps stomach the idea of dating someone HIV-positive. I too was a prejudiced hiv-neg guy who one day trusted the wrong guy at the wrong time. But, it turns out to have been the best thing to happen to me. It opened my eyes to how I had been looking down on people. Today, I try to see everyone as equal, not just by hiv status.
Let's give David a break, and hope he gives himself a break. How many of us, when we were negative or thought we were negative, wouldn't give the time of day to a poz guy? Even before HIV, how many of us misted away after the second or third date, fearing intimacy, losing independence, whatever? HIV/AIDS was and is the scariest experience of our lives. We all failed in big and small ways.
How wonderful to read something written about HIV, for a change by a negative guy - and thank you for that honest apology.
Paul
Looks like most "prevention" discussions are and have always been loaded with stigma. It's suggested that PrEP will remedy this, but I'm not seeing it. The conversation still uses words like "death", "blight" and "terror". I get it, they're superman and we're kryptonite. C'mon boys, pop Truvada and chainsmoke through another evening at Greaseburger. Ignore that wart and call yourself clean. I'd hate to cut your life short with my my uninfectious load or subject you to my inevitable decline.
October 30, 2014 • Columbus, OH