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This is a really tragic story, but the writer has needlessly conflated two distinct concerns. Saying HIV is no longer a big deal is a perception one may have about it, and has no inherent relation to denying it. I've had HIV for decades, but I take meds and my virus is undetectable, and from a strictly medical standpoint HIV is indeed no big deal for me. If the person in this story had taken meds, then the infection might have been no big deal for him too. Denial made it a big deal.
You just took me back through my own initial denial of the facts and a belief that I was superhuman and could fight it myself. I didn't get anywhere near as ill as your brother, but I did have two HIV specialists looking after me, standing at the end of my hospital bed, pleading with me to start to medication. I'm glad I took the advice. That your brother felt like this in 2013, in denial, is an indictment on those of us trying to get the message across - better&more communication is needed.
Firstly, my heart and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing this story. I, like you, believe it will give someone that needed push to deal with their truth. Not from fear but from the love that is evidenced in your telling of losing your brother. General note to readers; For some, fear (chastisement) only pushes them further into denial. Love succeeds where shaming fails.
heart wrenching...the stigma needs to be put to an end and it needs to start within the gay community NOW!
Parker
This is a tragic and courageous story. First I didn't know the medication wasn't in an I'V form. Looks like they would have tried liquids HIV meds. . Hind sight is 50/50 but I think you did all you could do as a family and hopefully you can pass this to others of your brothers legacy since he is now unable to speak about the power of unconditional, nondiscrimitive love. So many are still unable to tell family members and friends due to judgment and gossip. Reality can be so sad!
January 4, 2014 • Louisville, Ky.