Pennington Gap, Virginia

Positive since 2004  

I am an HIV-positive gay man living in rural Appalachia in Southwest Virginia. I moved back here because it was where I was born and raised, and what a mistake it was. I’m 38. I was diagnosed when I was 24 and thrived in Denver where I lived with my partner until his death in 2012. I was doing OK on my drug combo, but because of persistent nausea and vomiting my medical doctor decided to take me off the meds.

Access to care here in Appalachia is horrible. People are still afraid of the disease, and there just aren’t enough infectious disease specialists here to handle it. The option I was given was hospice, so I have spent the last year in hospice without HIV care, and my numbers are dwindling. I’m scared beyond belief that I’m going to waste away right in front of my family’s eyes. They have no clue what the disease is, much less what it does to the body. I get preached at constantly, and I try to avoid people in general, 99 percent of the time.

Appalachia needs to come into the 21st century and realize that HIV/AIDS is here and it’s not going anywhere. They need to beef up the resources so people like me are not pushed into hospice and left to die. I can only pray that the system fixes itself before I get into real trouble with my health.

What three adjectives best describe you?

Good-hearted, sincere and loving.

What is your greatest achievement?

Getting my BSN from Radford University in 2000.

What is your greatest regret?

Not going to med school.

What keeps you up at night?

Missing my loved ones taken by this dreadful disease.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?

Access to good care.

What is the best advice you ever received?

Ask questions regardless of how silly or stupid they may seem.

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?

Arthur Ashe.

What drives you to do what you do?

My will to live.

What is your motto?

Never give up.

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?

My puppy of seven weeks.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?

A dolphin, because of their ability to communicate and take care of one another.