Richmond Hill, New York
Positive since 2013

My name is Kris, and this is my story of living with HIV. I’m 28 years old and I found out I was positive about two years ago. I got tested because I did not feel right. I knew I worked long hours and pushed my body beyond its limits, but I knew something was not right, and I was not going to pass it off as another cold.

I remember that day very well. I drove to my doctor, whom I had been going to for years. The nurse called me a week later, saying, “You need to come in before the office opens; we need to talk to you.” My doctor looked at me and said, “Well, everything came out negative except for one test...and I don’t know how to tell you this, but Kris, you’re HIV positive.”

I broke down in tears right there. I felt like my life was over as I left the office, still bawling my eyes out. I went to open the door and as soon as the wind hit my face, I stopped crying. I felt the wind move across my skin differently. The sun felt better on my skin. I got home, changed, and went to a friend’s birthday dinner, pretending like everything was OK.

I began drinking heavily that night. I drank and drank and drank until I could not feel the pain anymore.  My best friend knew something was up. We went outside, and I came clean and cried so hard my eyes were red and swollen. He told me “You’re not alone, and you cannot let this disease control you.”

I thought, “Easy for him to say, since he isn’t living with the disease.” He then told me, “You’re really not alone. I’m positive also.” Him telling me about his status was uplifting, because I knew I had someone to share my experience with. 

My dating life was dead for a very long time, because I felt no one would want to date someone who has HIV. I have come to realize that it is very hard to have an honest and open conversation with someone unless they are educated about the disease. During the process of me disclosing my status, I lost a lot of friends, even my best friend. I became isolated, and I felt I wasn’t worth anything. Now, all of my true friends are aware of my condition, and they are not scared. Actually, they are happy I made the decision to share my status.

My point to this is that you need to find some sort of positive support, from the time you find out until the time you can rely on yourself. You are not the disease. It’s a part of you. HIV has a small residence in my life. It doesn’t say who I am. When you talk about HIV, you’re protecting yourself and many others. You are in control of this! Family and close friends are a great support system to have through it all, but if you don’t have that, there are numerous support groups that work with individuals who are positive.

It’s really important that individuals get educated. My isolation was due to lack of education and misleading information. It’s been said that “no one can put a price on a life.” This is true in one aspect, but you don’t understand the true value of your life until you have been threatened with losing it.

What adjectives best describe you?
Diligent, easy-going, motivated

What is your greatest achievement?
My greatest achievement is being part of the Caribbean Equality Project and helping individuals who were in the same boat like myself over come isolation and keep themselves and others protected against the disease.

What is your greatest regret?
I have none. Life is a lesson. We go through challenges every day and we learn from our mistakes. It’s what makes us stronger as humans.

What keeps you up at night?
My brain is constantly thinking about new ideas and ways to spread awareness about HIV.

If you could change one thing about living with HIV, what would it be?
The lack of education and knowledge, and the stigma.

What is the best advice you ever received?
The best advice I received was from my friend: “The disease doesn’t say who I am as individual.”

What person in the HIV/AIDS community do you most admire?
Mike Ruiz, for the great work he does for greater awareness.

What drives you to do what you do?
Losing many friends throughout the process and the lack of education in the Caribbean community.

What is your motto?
Never give up!

If you had to evacuate your house immediately, what is the one thing you would grab on the way out?
To be honest, that would be my gun.

If you could be any animal, what would you be? And why?
If I could be any animal it would be a tiger, because they have the courage to go after what they desire, leaving all fears behind.