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A Dent in the Wall

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6 Comments

Richard Ferri

Like I am the only one who has a medical crisis when their dog does drag? Come on now, I ain't that stupid. Bet it happen a lot more than anyone lets on.

March 20, 2011

Jane Phillips

You've been through a lot, more than most - but you got through it because you are you. And you are you, because of what you have been through. I try to let myself feel my pain these days - I never used to. I tell myself its ok today to feel bad / sad / lonely / sorry for myself - and sometimes it takes me a really long time after the event to feel it. Really feel it. Thanks so much for your post - I had to read the thing about the dog in a dress a few times - just to make sure it was what I thought it was....

March 20, 2011

Renzo

….Humans get dents. We get hurt, damaged and broken. We heal. That is a cold skeletal summary of our life here and now, so to speak. I empathize. It seems odd that you are still sane after so much and so all-at-once. ….I suspect that we suffer like no other species does. This indeed might be a better way to distinguish us from the 'lower' species, like our dogs. Canines in pain, in physical distress, even in agony, slip away with little fanfare to die alone or in the company of their natural predators. Can you think of animals with any greater need to belong to someone, and be with someone than our dogs? They experience pain quietly, without echoes, without trumpets. We are different – there is our upper mind – the frontal cortex which elaborates, rotates, replays, intensifies, and manipulates our simple (although frequently excruciating) pain into 'suffering'. I don't think dogs suffer, at least not the way I am explaining it or meaning it. They do not hold onto their pain and create social trauma from it. We do. Maybe, and I really mean 'maybe', instead of feeling deficient for not still suffering from these horrors of physical and mental trauma you survived, you should be at peace with having interrupted the mental processing, the remains, the echoes, the remembered pains. ….This frontal lobe processing is also of course the seat and source of our highest cultural achievements - poetry, theater, music, philosophy, law, science, service, healing and many others. The ability (or compulsion) to remember pain, embellish it, and relive it (a.k.a. suffering) is the same abilityas that which gives us to write love sonnets, to thrill at the sound of the soprano, to heal the sick and feed the poor, to comfort the dying, to think like Plato or, in other words, to be our best selves: to be human, and all that it means. I am glad however that you seem to be able to live in the good spots and let go of the suffering, as we all must learn to do. That's living well (anyone would agree) and it is to be trusted and taught to others, just as you are doing here (and very very likely elsewhere, even everywhere you go, as well as here). ….One last comment on the phrase “This tumble, preceded by a dog in dress and me in crew socks on slick wooden bare stairs...“. First the thought of you in nothing but crew socks running down to stir the soup reminds me of the MasterCard commercials - “it's priceless” - but I won't write out the whole fantasy script [A new dress for the dog - $35; RalphLauren Egyptian cotton crew socks $18; gumbo ingredients flown in from New Orleans - $200; competent local paramedics - PRICELESS!]. Second, dude, stop putting the dog in dresses. It ain't natural: if god had wanted dogs in dresses s/he would have given them better shoulders for spaghetti straps (and isn't it forbidden along with everything else in Leviticus?). …. Finally, thanks for the insight about your (so-called) lack of insight, the provocative observations, the images (really, you running to stir soup in nothing but crew socks, the dog clothing....) and the fact that you come back to write so often, so regular, so well. Thanks.

February 25, 2011

tnypow

Thank you for acknowledging and informing us that there will be no "Hallmark" moment here...that's refreshing in itself.

February 24, 2011

John

Wow man you have been through a lot. I am glad that your full plate didn't break under all that weight. I hope all is getting better with you, and hope that the future brings you continuing luck. I would say buy a lottery ticket but it may jinx you by doing so . Any way take care for now and thankyou for your story. John

February 23, 2011

Michael Viola

Thanks for putting into words what seems to be also my life experience. I'm already dented, but I refuse to be lima beans! Thanx! Michael

February 21, 2011

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