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I'm proud of you my sister, my name in Sharon and I live in Maryland, I've been positive living w/this virus for 15 years now. It does get easier. I'm very vocal, if someone wants to talk about it. I'm still not to the point were my employer will ever know my status because people are still ignorant, discriminating and afraid of this word "HIV." It's no longer a death sentence as so many people have stated. It doesn't define me as a black women though. Life is good for me right now, I really don't put much thought in it. For me my main concern is my Diabetes and keeping my BP good. At one point I was on line w/POZ dating site, searching for a mate, but it's a lot of work, and before any sex occurs you should allow or disclose to the other person your status. As I was not given this opportunity. When I found out it was too late. But sister stay on the road your on, stay prayed up and positive, an deffinately stay in your Support Groups. They've help me so much. Your sister Sharon Ash, 8/31/2013.
I feel the same way I'm anonymous too I have been positive 10 years or more One day I can come out the closet to feel more openly about my status but the stigma is something else I want to become an activist to one day.
thank you for sharing. my son was diagnosed as HIV positive about 3 years ago. he struggles so deeply with depression at times especially around the area of dating, then he calls and I just don't know what to do to help him except tell him that I love him.I am willing to slowly educate others that don't have HIV about how to treat others who do have HIV. What do you think I should tell them?
I read your story on Poz, I haven't forgotten about your story. just hope you are doing well. hope you blog soon!
If I were you, I would never go public. HIV is a problem nobody can solve for you except God. Why telling people of problems that they cannot solve for you but instead mock you for having them in order to feel good about themselves. I mean think twice. Looks like you are not yet grounded enough to be yourself in this world. You are not in competition whatsoever with anybody on how to live life nor in need to seek for approval and validation from anybody in order to feel good about yourself. You are having this need to go public because you have not yet killed the need in you for a perfect world where people accept you inspite of your hiv that does not exist so you need some pity instead. Girl, think twice. We come into this world and we have different stories to tell about it. Yours maybe HIV and other things but thats it. Others also got more than that to tell. I wish I could give you the strenght I got to live this crazy life. I don't have hiv and I do not wish to have it but if it ever happens so be it. Life goes on because i do not have a need for a perfect world. This need has been killed in me for years now and it helps me to enjoy whatever good the life throws at me without reservations. I do not know how to explain how lucky I'm to have this strength but when you reach there you will know yourself. Keep evolving through self development. I do not share problems that someone cannot help me on.
I can relate to your story however, that even happen with other positive individuals, ive experienced so many guys that cannot express feelings and when you attempt to show them, they run away or get scared. I think dating in general can be tough poz to poz or poz to neg. It a tough world unfortunately, especially in more conservative states like ohio.
The truth is fear is what drives most people they are afraid of what they do not understand, I was married for 8 years, (it was a good marriage for the most part beyond the normal things married people live with) but I had a out patient surgery for kidney stones, part of the process was a blood test that indicated something was off about my blood later I found out I was positive, as a legal matter you have to disclose immediately to any partners you have, (my case was hard and easy, as my wife was my only partner) her first reaction was disbelief then a freezing cold reality began, which resulted in first legal separation then a divorce. It was painful because when she lost her father she cried for months and I was there for her every step of the way, but when I needed her it was not to be, I felt betrayed and I felt like I would never find love again, I still feel that way but I keep hoping to find someone that can understand and perhaps even find the idea of falling in love something that might one day happen again, I cant give up but sometimes it feel very lonely...
doretta
omg. you took me back to the time i was newly infected with HIV (33 years ago) and was in the dating scene. as if the fear of AIDS (that's what it was solely known as after i was told i had "GRID") wasn't enough, i was young, attractive and so very burdened with every aspect of, now, the HIV virus. remember, i was diagnosed when it was the complete unknown and "scurge of the earth", and i am not minimizing your feelings and "fears", solely relating. i always chose to be honest about my hiv status. before any intimacy or real attachments, i had to "un-load it". i was so very turmoiled how to deal with it all being i wanted to be loved and experience all that goes with that, but at "the end of the day" could not with-hold my illness. i had numerous men literally walk out, and away from me. back then one could clear a room by saying they had "AIDS" (remember, that was what it was solely known as in the 1980's). and THEN!!!!!!!!!!! i met a man...my husband of 20 years now, who DID NOT RUN. i took me FOREVER to separate me from my illness. you are not your diagnosis.....you are you. again, not to minimize, but i wish i were not one of the "ground floor AIDS " people, as it's a whole nother baby than today. and look...i am married to an HIV negative man for 20 years, and the REAL ass-kicker..alive and well after 33 years of HIV, along with HEP B&C!!!!!!!!!!!! my advice...GO GIRL....and be honest
December 5, 2013