Firstly, on Sunday, May 18, Gwenn and I will be walking in the NY AIDS Walk, and we’d love your support. If you’re interested, click on the pictures from last year’s walk.

In 2007, Team Supersnack, whom we are honored to be a part of for the third year in a row, raised over $30,000 for people living with HIV/AIDS. We’re shooting higher this year, and hope you can help out. If you’re in the NYC-area, we’ll be hosting a fundraiser on Friday, May 16. (More on that to come.)


Wait... HIV/AIDS not your thing? If that’s the case, then you’re probably focused on another developing epidemic: Phone Sleepers.


Huh?


Phone Sleepers are numerous, which is why their attention was targeted in the recent 3 a.m. political ads, the linked one ends a little cheesy, my apologies.


Basically, Phone Sleepers- or “P.S.ers” as I call them- are people who sleep with their cellphones close by. They usually answer on the 2nd or 3rd ring, groggy. It takes a few moments for them to wake up and it’s kind of annoying because all the while you feel bad because you just woke them up.


Because they didn’t set their phone to Silent.


A Phone Sleeper always has an excuse. For instance, a PS’er once told me when confronted, “Well, what if a friend calls in a state of distress? I want to be there for them.” Well, sure. But most of us don’t have the cast of the Real World on speed dial. And if a friend is in real danger, 911 is the way to go, not me.


And definitely not a PS’er.


Seriously, if you were in danger, would you rather call someone who is sleeping and had the sensibly to set their phone to Silent or a PS’er?


Think about it: if you call the person who set their phone to Silent, you’d let it ring a few times then try someone else. If you got a PS’er, you’d bleed out while explaining the details of your emergency while they tried to wake up. The sad truth is that Phone Sleepers have an addiction to ringtones and technology, and they mask that with an Indiana Jones complex.

They don’t want to help us at all.


I swear, if I didn’t have AIDS myself, PSA (Phone Sleeper Awareness) is what I’d dedicate my life to. And, mark my words, if I’m ever cured I’ll start a Phone SleepWalk to raise money to figure this shit out.

Till then, I hope you’ll sponsor a few of my steps and limps in May on behalf of my positoid brothers and sisters in the AIDS Walk.


Positively Yours,

Shawn