Bruno meets Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards.

The YouTube video may be taken down by the time you read this blog.  If so search “Eminem Movie Awards” over and over again until you see the clip from the MTV Movie Awards, a 2-hour promo for the Twilight sequel in which the main actors came across as too cool for school.  The highlight was Bruno (Sasha Baron Cohen of Borat fame) descending from the ceiling in an angel-winged get-up.  A “mishap” occurs, and he drops down into the 69 position right on top of Eminem.

Who freaks out as his yes men/bodyguards start manhandling Bruno.  It reminded of when another one of my favorite comedians, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, pissed off Eminem at the MTV Music Awards several years ago.  Em is a classic bully.  He can dress up as stars and make fun of them, but if someone pranks him he doesn’t handle it too well.

Yeah, he’s a rapper and a guy’s balls were in his face.  But c’mon, it’s the entertainment business.  And rappers need to stop pretending they are all straight anyway.  They way they oversell that.  Really, how many times do you have to say you bang girls - lots of girls- in one song?   At first, I thought Eminem was in on it, but after watching it on TiVo several times, I think his entourage would have given it away if they knew it was going to “go down”, so to speak.

As for the Twilight co-stars, they looked a little too cool to be there.  I was hoping Bruno and his family jewels would drop down a few more times to liven things up.  But what do you expect with vampires?  The actors kind of epitomize my issue with the whole genre: that it takes itself way too seriously.

Kind of like Eminem, I guess.  I was going to order Twilight on In Demand, now that I’ve finished the vampire book, but now I’m not sure.  I might wait for Bruno: The Vampire Slayer to get made, in which teabagging unsuspecting rappers is the new holy water or crucifix defense against bloodsuckers.

I could be waiting a long time.  Unless I write that story myself.  Hmmmmm...

Positively Yours,

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