My brother, Kip, was born on Mother’s Day- what a gift, right?
Yesterday we not only celebrated the holiday, but we had cake for Kip’s birthday, and sang to Gwenn, too, since her b-day is next week. Everything was perfect, except...
My strained relationship with my 3-month old niece.
Helayna, the newest edition to the Decker family, seems to hate my guts. Gwenn held her; she was fine. Mom held her; she was fine. I held her and she cried... no big deal, just bad timing, right? Maybe she just dropped a load, or wanted to suck on a tit. I don’t know, I’m not a parent. I don’t have those instincts.
But I know enough to know I did nothing wrong.
As soon as she was removed from my gentle embrace, she stopped crying. Then, later, I held her and she refused to look at me. Katelyn, my 9-year old niece, said, “Uncle Poo, she really hates you!” Then everyone agreed that it was my beard and glasses. It reminds of the time a sociopath blamed a dog’s distrust of him on his sweater.
Something was amiss. My mind raced... just as I was about to acuse Helayna of hating me because I have AIDS, it hit me: Kenneth Cole got to her. Probably offered the baby a lifetime’s supply of designer diapers. What does the baby know? Of course you’ll take that deal, at 3-month’s that seems like a good trade-off.
Why sink to this low? Well, it’s six days until the AIDS Walk. Team Supersnack is in 6th place overall, Kenneth Cole’s team is laggin behind. We’ve already raised more than they did last year, when he was still steaming over my refusal to disrobe in his storefront window.
Alright, for now I need to focus on the home stretch, and continue to raise money and not be psyched out by Kenneth. I also need to find it in my heart to forgive Helayna, for humiliating me in front of the entire family with her mean-spirited displays of abject disgust and rejection...
There were happy moments, and I’ll leave you with this picture of my mom, taken yesterday on Mother’s Day. Which may give Kenneth pause the next time he thinks about launching a divisive campaign against the family Decker.
“Leave ma’ famila alone, Mr. Big City-pants!”
The AIDS Walk NY is this Sunday, May 18. Click on the spooky boy to donate. Gwenn and I are so close to our goal of $2500... we’re now at $1954.88! We at least have to make it to the current year, 2008.
In the NYC-area? Gwenn and I are hosting the 3rd Annual Team Supernack Fundraiser on Friday, May 16. John Oliver of the Daily Show will be there, you should be too! CLICK for TICKET info and LOCATION!