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I'm HIV positive. I'm 100% sure I got it from my meth-addicted ex-boyfriend. I got it from having unprotected sex with him. Lots of it. Meth addicts are expert liars and great manipulators. I'm not the most attractive guy -- and I had really low self-esteem at the time. He was gorgeous and had a magnetic personality. So I did whatever he wanted to do. I thought I was lucky just to be with him. So when I look at Mr. Pintauro, that's who I see. An attractive, self-deluded, manipulative, liar. He means well, they always mean well. But the information he's spreading is false, and dangerous. There's no way he was high on meth and using condoms. There's no way it was just a night of experimenting. Spreading false information like this isn't helping anyone.
After reading this post 3 times, I cannot see how you are being "too hard" on this so-called spokesman as some have suggested. Yes, yes; we all pray that he gets more information and becomes an asset to the cause rather than a hindrance. (And the sooner the better.) If someone puts themselves in the role of "advocate" or "activist", they certainly ought to be able to withstand educated scrutiny. I like how you call 'em like you see 'em, Mark. Keep it up.
Thanks for this, Mark. I have great hopes for Danny as an advocate. He certainly got a lot of people talking about HIV last week. I just hope he can get to the place where he realizes that it doesn't really matter how he was infected. What matters is how you handle it, and what's next.
This article is everything. You slayed it.
Let me be the first to call myself out: my take on Danny above is pretty rough on him. This is certainly not how I would typically treat a fellow person living with HIV, and certainly not someone newly diagnosed. But Danny's situation felt different to me; he walked (back) into the spotlight and asked to be seen as a role model and arbiter of gay social/sexual conduct. I agree with other commentors that Danny is new to this arena and deserves the chance to become more educated regarding his messages. Our community deserves prominent people discussing HIV -- but not at any cost.
This whole story angers me as he is using his HIV status for a comeback and to make money & to top it off, people are calling him "Brave." Brave would have been to come out as an activist 12 years ago not to mention that the Oprah show was about "Where are they now" & not about Danny's HIV status or how he got it & yet he was PAID to tell his story. As for his further interviews of which he has been paid quite well, he has found that he can make more money as a so-called activist than as a has-been actor who was working as a manager at a maintenance store. This to me is like exploiting HIV & his drug use for personal gain.
Here's one of the many problems I have with your otherwise gentle handling of Danny's right to his (however complex) truth: is taking dick and semen up your ass the only scientifically proven way to contract HIV through sex? It is not. Right? Then, why are you on the one hand giving him the space for possible incongruity under the weight of stigma and shame while at the same time shoving and projecting onto his shoulders your most sensationalist of accusations for the benefit of your shock value agenda? Your kindness is rendered empty by your vicious deconstruction. You make valid points that are blurred by offensive condescension. He's trying, as you say, to muster up courage to own his narrative. Enliven, enlighten and clarify it if you must, without the antics.
steve
Mark, I have no idea how I got HIV. I too suspect it was from oral sex. When I was negative, I always made sure a condom was used for anal sex. I take dick up the ass and love the feel of a guy cumming in the condom in my ass. I just don't think this is the way I got HIV. There are studies that have placed the risk as high as 17%. http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=pr-rr-05 Also condoms are not safe sex; the CDC estimates efficacy at only 70% http://www.aidsmap.com/Consistent-condom-use-in-anal-sex-stops-70-of-HIV-infections-study-finds-but-intermittent-use-has-no-effect/page/2586976/
November 10, 2015