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Disclosure and Dating

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31 Comments

bradley

great article. I have found myself at odds with the conversation many time over the last ten years; recently I was chatting with a guy from four square of all places, I was shocked to discover that he was poz also; you never know when you will be surprised by the conversation that happens after disclosing your status.

November 12, 2012

Sue Patrons

Honestly, i don't know why people think it is so easy to disclose. HIV+ people are people too. Sometimes things happen before you even realize it. As a heterosexual female HIV +, i have never been asked by any guy about HIV status. If "negative" people don't ask, why is it taken as an easy thing for us to do? What about when people fall in love at first sight? What about when people go to drink and sex happens unplanned? Sometimes i wonder whether we will ever live a normal life again. It is not our fault that we got the virus, we just happened to be victims. Does it mean everyone who is positive they live a different life than someone who is negative? Of course NO, same lifestyle but it has become a sole responsibility for us to disclose. Why can't they make a rule for everyone to ask the other party of their HIV status, this is the only solution to make it comfortable for both parties. We are treated as people who don't have feelings. PEOPLE WITH HIV ARE HUMAN BEINGS TOO! I AM ANGRY THAT WE ARE TREATED SO CRUEL BECAUSE OF OUR STATUS.

April 1, 2012

mzboss

I am a heterosexual positive female and this definitely is a problem for me. I have only disclosed to one guy and that was 8years ago well he still ended up cheating on me and just plain taking advantage of the situation. i still deal with this guy but only out of fear of having to? go through the same ish all over again and being rejcted. How do I handle this? I consider myself an attractive woman well educated and am a professional as well. This is sooo hard for me. how do I get around this. Most positive sites have not been succesful for meeting people.

March 25, 2012

thomas

What this means is that dating someone that is also infected with HIV has become something that may be the only resort for avoiding jail, its not legal, but we allow it by not protesting the criminalization of a disease, instead of the behavior of a few, we now all face legal issues even if you do disclose and the other party is not exposed or infected, yes, you read that correctly, legally there are several states which have felony penalties, which result not only in long prison terms but also the right to vote is taken away, now I ask you is this a threat...

March 20, 2012

Todd Dombrosky

I pretty much have given up on the whole dating thing. After 20 years of living with the bug it is my thought that most can't handle it...

March 11, 2012

Jay In The LBC

I learned before I found out I was poz how gay guys love to talk about others status and the discrimination poz guys get from their own brothers. So when I found out I was poz 3 years ago I came out about my status to all friends and family and told myself people are going to talk about it and I don't care. I usually tell someone right away if I even feel dating interests are there. I also post [+] behind my name on all my profiles. I'm told I'm too out about my status and that's why I'm still single and that maybe true but I know it's helping to eliminate the stigma behind this very lonely disease.

March 11, 2012

Jay In The LBC

I have [+] in my name on my iPhone social apps. Most know what it is and some ask what and why I have that. I find if I tell at first sight or after a few dates it's the same result :-) I'm still single.

March 11, 2012

Dale Smith

I'm on the fence when it comes to disclosure. I've experienced men who I've dated but have only disclosed their HIV+ status on a hookup or other Internet profile. Is it that difficult to have a one-on-one discussion about such a pertinent issue than it is to publicize it to all and sundry? I take issue with those who have a practice of just dumping HIV+ status on first acquaintance. If I'm just seeing you socially, I don't need to know anything about your HIV+ status. Last time I checked, one still cannot contract HIV from casual contact. What rankles is the mindset "let me drop this bomb because once I do, I am no longer responsible for anything that happens." This is false and lazy rationalization. Sexual activity remains the responsibility of both parties involved; it always has been so and always will be.

March 11, 2012

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