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Thanks for your words of encouragement. I've been dealing with depression since I was a child and with HIV, hep c and no support system whatsoever, it is so hard to try and stay strong. I'm trying to keep my faith and be a role model for my kids, and so far have been successful, but I still have my days in which the clouds are so thick and heavy,but I'm trying to get through it... one day at a time.
Great story here, you really put a all too familiar face on this beast called depression. I grew up with a father who didn't want to deal with meds and so we all suffered because of that. It does run in the family, thank God I have had small bouts of depression and still do, but mine is usually it is of a less severe nature. I help facilitate a group and all of the people there admitted to feeling depressed in the past and now. The two that brought it up to begin with are both African American, far to often this is the case. Somehow we are still missing the boat on education on mental illness and mental health. I am going to read this story you wrote next week in the group and see if anyone relates and hopefully it shows them there is hope and there are others out there, then maybe they will not feel alone as they do now. Again great job, in the Men of Color community things like this just are not addressed properly still. Good luck, john
Thanks for all the comments and there's one thing in common along with the depression. We're still here! We may not feel whole and feel like we're in a hole but we all go through something to get somewhere. I wish you all encouragement in your battle and keep the faith! And how dare you guys make me cry reading your stories :)
When I was first diagnosed I allowed my seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to set into more around the clock depression. After a few years of therapy and meds. for the depression, I have my life back. I no longer go to therapy, and I not taking any meds. Even the SAD has gone by the wayside. I keep the the same mental attitude on a winter day as I do on a So. Cal. summer day.
Aundaray...I am sitting here a day after turning 48. I went to the POZ site to read about the seaman getting 8 years (I myself was in the Navy). Instead I see your picture and the byline and I am now sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Last year at the age of 47 I finally faced my demon. Depression. It took me loosing my life as I knew it in CA. My friends. My home. Everything that mattered to me. It almost cost me my life. I spent 35 days in a "behavioral care" unit to deal w/ a problem that has plagued me since a child and just got progressively worse each year lasting longer than the last to the point I never had a day that I was not depressed. I too am gay. I grew up in a small north-central IL village of 600. Being gay was not an option...or so I thought. After 29 years apart from high school classmate I re-emerged on FB. The love I found and feel was astounding. In Nov 2009 I nearly died from complications from being undiagnosed w/ HIV. 2010 was a rough year moving forward as a man, a gay man w/ Hiv. Through in the depression and it was quite a 'cocktail' to swallow. But I'm still here and I am moving forward..day by day but still above the darkness. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story..THANK YOU. GOD Bless. Kevin
Aundaray...I am sitting here a day after turning 48. I went to the POZ site to read about the seaman getting 8 years (I myself was in the Navy). Instead I see your picture and the byline and I am now sitting here with tears streaming down my face. Last year at the age of 47 I finally faced my demon. Depression. It took me loosing my life as I knew it in CA. My friends. My home. Everything that mattered to me. It almost cost me my life. I spent 35 days in a "behavioral care" unit to deal w/ a problem that has plagued me since a child and just got progressively worse each year lasting longer than the last to the point I never had a day that I was not depressed. I too am gay. I grew up in a small north-central IL village of 600. Being gay was not an option...or so I thought. After 29 years apart from high school classmate I re-emerged on FB. The love I found and feel was astounding. In Nov 2009 I nearly died from complications from being undiagnosed w/ HIV. 2010 was a rough year moving forward as a man, a gay man w/ Hiv. Through in the depression and it was quite a 'cocktail' to swallow. But I'm still here and I am moving forward..day by day but still above the darkness. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story..THANK YOU. GOD Bless. Kevin
my name is roxie...and i have been livin with hiv for 6 yrs...and i use to be depressed ...and on a depress med...you know i have come to the conclution that i had to except the things i can not change...but change the things i was willing to except...you have to get away from negitive peaple...and put god and faith in to your soul...you cannot change your situation...so just go on and live with it...thay say it is a death sentence...but it is if you belive it is....and then you will die...no matter what your situation is...my thing is do not look down on anyone unless you are willing to pick them up...trust me ..you may seem like it is the worst thing that has ever happened to you,,,but someone else has it worse then you...trust me...so stop beating your self up..over something you cant fix....keep it movin...
Aundaray Guess
John -Thanks for the comments and sharing the story with the group. I hope it resonates with one person as depression whether you're gay or not has such a stigma! Jackie-I also thank you. Support systems are so important and I hope your kids fill that role. As far as the outside world, I know how you feel as I have no close relations to family and sometimes friends seem like they have their own things to deal with. But you said something so important-we can only live life one day a ta time. Stay Positive!
January 27, 2011