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I have been HIV+ since 1986, AIDS since 1996, undetectable viral load since 2003. HIV has lived with me for almost half of my 62 years with no HIV related illnesses. By the grace of God, I intend to live UNTIL I die. Death is an inevitability, living ones life is a choice.
I'm tired also....I understand....how long can this go on...I'm tired
i pray that i have a friend to give me strength when all i have is nothing..oh the fears and tears ive shed thinking about "the end" times..i take comfort knowing that im in Gods hands altho its still scarey..i have a very close friend who supports me but what would happen if he goes before I do...maybe there will be somebody that will come and hold my hand and tell me its ok no matter what happens...im available to anybody who needs that in this fight..i pray that those of us who are infected and affected with this virus feels the same desire to help all we can..its the only way we can fight off the FEAR
I, too, am tired. I understand. What is, is. And what will come will come. I am no longer in control of my own destiny...or am I? All I know is I'm tired.
This is a true reality that I feel has been lost in the "new generation" of persons with HIV. New drugs, longer life span, support etc. As someone who has lived with HIV/AIDS for 20+ years the understanding of finding out your positive at that time meant for me no support other than my partner who was sick and ultimately I lost. I went on that journey the best I knew how and alone. The doctors, the tests, the how am I going to afford this, the side effects ect. But I did. And now at this time in my life (early 40) I for the first time became terribly ill. Although medicines have changed the idea some have of Oh I have HIV not AIDS is prevalent. I now have AIDS, it's still a reality no matter when your diagnosed. So the tests have increased, doctors visits more often and more worrys you thought were over. The fact we have to remember is not everyone has family friends or a support system of any kind. I'm tired too. Thanks for sharing your friends story.
Steve
I am 63 and have HIV Positive for almost 20 years. I have gone through 5 different regimens of medication combinations, but I have only been undetectable once yet I am tired also of taking these drugs and along with Major Depression Disorder, PTSD and Social Anxiety, I continue to be non-adherent. My story is so involved,but I also live with self-hate and guilt. I know I only have two alternatives, which my doctor's remind me on every visit and I keep on saying I will adhere, but it's like I don't care. I have therapy on a weekly basis, but it still doesn't help. I tell everyone I am adherent as I don't want to hear the reasons why I should if I tell them differently.
August 18, 2014