Well, I co-co-hosted a pageant. With Kristi Lauren Glakas (Miss Virginia 2005/badass) and Hannah Kiefer (Miss Virginia 2007/badass). You can see pictures here.
Both of my esteemed colleagues did well at Miss America as state title holders, finishing at 3rd runner-up; so they know their pageants. My main job last Saturday night was to utilize my dorky charm to set the audience at ease. Should be easy for someone who sets people at ease over the topic of AIDS, right?
Usually I’m confronted with an audience that asks questions about my personal life. That’s easy, because I know all the answers to those. And if I don’t, Gwenn’s got my back.
Well, on Saturday night at Miss Williamsburg, the only question the big sweaty blob of nervous supporters wanted answered was: who is going to win? And I, nor my co-hosts, had the answer to that one.
Still, I had a great time. There’s a line that is read at every local pageant. It is delivered before the Talent competition, and goes something like this. “Remember, these are not professional performers... at least, not YET.”
Well, at the dramatic pause, I did an impromptu tap dance, and let Kristi and Hannah say, “Not YET!” I thought it was gold, pure showbiz gold that was a risk of causing that stage in the auditorium of Bruton High School to come crashing down to Earth.
The tap got a lukewarm response, but we got a laugh about it backstage. “We’re dropping a charisma bomb on those people whether they like it or not,” I said to my co-hosts as we huddled. Later, while Kristi and Hannah were out there, I heard a crackling noise, and looked out to see them doing a goofy tap dance together. Gimmick infringement!
It was a pretty awesome night, and I really had a great time not speaking about AIDS for a change.