On April Fools’ Day, the only joke that came through was from Steve of the Hemo2Homo Connection. If you missed his Comment, check this out:

"Shawn, I’m your psychiatrist and I have to inform you that you’re not actually a heterosexual. Please come to the office so we can take care of this immediately. There’s no time to waste."

The problem with Steve’s joke is that he’s so old, that he forget that he’d used the same joke twelve years ago when we met online. I won’t go into details about how that played out, all I will say is that this time I was ready. It probably helped that I had diabolical April Fools’ Day plans of my own.

My friend, Irvin, runs a coffee shop downtown called Java Java. His lovely baristas, Lisa and Jenny, helped me pull this gag off by letting me know where Irvin was. Gwenn (who knows the deal, since she worked as Pluto at Disney one summer during college) got all the materials, and we hired a friend to put it together when we hit our first roadblock online, discovering that these costumes sell for $900! As I stood in front of the shop, holding my sign, I felt an inner peace that I’ve never known before... have I wasted my first thirty-two years of life? A Barbara Walters Special discussed the scientific prospects of living to the age of 150. In modern times, Ric Flair just wrestled until the age of 59... So I could spend over a century as “Bean Bean”, making children smile and forcing adults to awkwardly say hello as they make eye contact with big, white painted-on eyes. I’m taken, of course, but I get a lot of questions from positoids about dating woes. Now I can provide a simple answer: Bean Costume. (Men and women alike seem way into it.)

Positively Yours,