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I was reqding your story in some of what you where saying mad sense, I would like to say thank u for standing up for us in the HIV&AIDS'S world. When I was infected almost 9years ago I was thinking all kinds of stuff vrom killing myself to taking a overdose my friend showed me something in the bible. (In it said that all things are possible if u believe in christ jesus) It gave the power to tell my family about my situation in what my exboifriend gave me. They was hurt in mad in ready to fight but I told them yo let me handle it on my own. Or when you tell that person that act all stand offish like can I get by holding they hand or by youbkissing them, I tell no about the holding hands part in the kissing thing yes only if they don't have a cut or a coldsore .
As I approach my 60th year,we come a long way,i remember in the early 80's,when people thought we all should be put in concentration camps, a certain T.V. evangelist suggested that,people lost jobs,apartments,family,some people thought gay people literaly spread it in the air,Now in the year 2014,gay men are using the conservative court system in the bible belt against other gay men,as a I struggle with h.i.v,i would tell every young gay male,view every potiental partner as h.i.v,when you are not in a monogamous relationship ,you are at wrisk,in this grinder,internet world,sex is a key tap away,how do we know if one specific person expose another person,come on men we are better than that,we are going to see a selg driving car,in this cyber information world ,we know what to do to protect ourselves ,I have live through the civil right movement,hoping I would not get drafted and sent to Vietnam,like all of poor men in thesixties of all races,gay phobia of the early 80's,seeing so many good friends that didn't get a chance at life saving medications I use,die at a young age,gays in the military ,entertainment industry,NBA and NFL,can come out as openly gay,its bad enough as a gbm,race is still an issue,but lets not turn on each other, I wonder what the act up activist would think about this,Harvey Milk,don't make the mistake like a lot of my black brothers,civil rights and gay rights are still a uphill battle,lets register and vote in these important elections coming up/
When I first tested positive for HIV, I have to deal with a lot of stress in regards to disclosure. My landlord basically kicked me out saying that I could have infected him with the desease (dont ask how, or why did I have to tell him) I just needed to talk to someone and chose the wrong person. My exwife threaten me that I could not get in touch with my daughter and if I do, She would tell my parents and my family about my status. I was with someone, and I told my status inmediately. Unfortunately I was not in love and I wanted to end up the relationship. I had to go through one of the most humilating time of my life, threats, blackmailing and almost forced to be in a relationship that I did not want only to avoid that this person tell everyone I was positive. The lesson I learned is that all it takes is a pissed off partner to make your life miserable and once you tell you loose control of the information. My recommendation is only tell whom you need to tell. I have continued to disclose but it has never, ever been an easy thing to do, although it can work against you, it also give a lot of peace of Mind.
To the people who have commented that Robert has "knowingly done something to hurt someone else" and people who don't disclose are 'evil' can I just say that until you find yourself in a situation where you do something that you may regret doing, you cannot judge. It's all very well getting sanctimonious about how others behave but I think there are very few people who are sociopathic enough to 'deliberately' go out and infect others. Conversely, there seem to be an astounding number of gay men who deliberately go out trying to get infected. The only thing I can say about criminalisation of someone not disclosing is that I wouldn't want or expect someone I had consensual sex with to go to prison because I didn't choose to insist on a condom. I'm not blaming whoever gave me the virus - I should have taken care of my own body/health. I now understand why someone would lie about their status as it's not great to be rejected. It is MUCH easier to deal with it at the first point of contact but it took me a while to learn that lesson. Also, if one is undetectable & doesn't disclose, should one be locked up for that? This law makes people NOT want to know their status as bizarrely, if you haven't been tested and don't know your status then you won't be held accountable for passing it on! Good people make mistakes, and unfortunately so many gay men have appallingly low self-esteem thanks to the culture of shame that we're brought up in. It's no wonder when we behave in less than loving ways to each other. If someone forces you to have sex without protection then that's rape and that's a punishable offence already - though isn't it interesting how many straight men seem to get away with rape and yet a gay man not disclosing in consensual sex seems to be considered a far more heinous crime than men raping women. Makes you think doesn't it?
You are strong! Proud of your advocacy. Keep the fire burning!
Hi Robert, I remember your situation, as I am from Shreveport and was mortified that something like that could have happened to you. Knowing your story saved me the same possible fate. Until then it never occurred to me that the ending of a relationship would lead to such vindictive and deceitful behavior to the point of lieing about prior knowledge of a partner's status.I now video record my partner and I discussing my status before intimacy takes place.I hope you continue to touch lives in a positive manner.
I read your story and was just struck by your conviction and in the state of Louisiana. I once lived there and I sensed that prosecuting and jailing African Americans was high on their list of priorities. Many convictions would allow them to strip away rights of individuals for life. Thanks for sharing your story.
Dr Reggie Dunbar II
I am glad Robert has the boldness and strength to be a leader in this mission of educating and eradicating old outdated and misguided hiv criminalizational laws. I support his and the SERO Project's efforts in doing all that they can to bring this to the front lines of humanity.
December 29, 2015