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One of the biggest problems as I see it is that everyone can hide behind their computers and or get erroneous information that they think is fact. The internet and social networks are great ideas, but people for the most part are too immature to use them wisely. My opinion only.
I remember all to well from personal experiences and there is no excuse for meanest from anyone unfortunately, little has changed. My suggestion is to stop adding another letter to define a group of people. I sometimes wounder how ridicules it must sound when a non-LGBT etc., must think how can these people be respected when they keep putting themselves categories?
Wow I feel bad that the mean comments keep rolling... But I see the problem rooted in the lack of candid discussion about the divide between grassroots activism and client service needs vs. political lobbying and strategy. The late David Feinberg used to write hilarious send-ups about being patronizingly invited to gala AIDS fundraisers and put on display as actual PWA fodder for the donors. How is the average LGBT person able to related to $500 a plate gala fundraisers from gay organizations who until very recently consistently failed to win us any substantive rights? All we saw was an army of self-annointed leaders with $100K+ salaries who commanded us to vote Democrate and refrain from suing for our rights, lest we awake the boogeyman Leviathan of an "adverse court precendent that might set us back for years". During this dark period we were consistently thrown under the bus by the Democratic Party, HIV infection rates continued to rise, military discharge rates increased, Clinton signed DOMA to deflect attention from his own misdeeds, HIV prevention efforts were forbidden from mentioning anal sex, and transgender inclusive anti-discrimination law were taken off the table etc. etc. And LGBT groups and politicians continued to admonish us to keep quiet and not rock the boat. No vocal protests, no picketing, no visibility for our day to day issues. So as painful as it might be, we need to recognize that much distrust has simmered over the years with our leadership. In more recent months, relocating the GMHC's offices to an inconvenient location and failing to decisively support paid sick leave for all New Yorkers is going to upset members of our community and they are going to be vocal about it. No one said that leadership is easy, but watering down the message in a misguided attempt to appeal to straight or upper middle-class voters will turn any LGBT leader into a bland indistinguishable politicians and alienate the rest of us. Corey Johnson and Bill DeBlasio stuck to their grassroot beliefs and it paid off. There is undoubtedly a personal aspect to the vulgar comments and attacks. Maybe I'm naive to think that they might go away if our leadership was less detached. But I feel the solution rests in our leaders acknowledging the mistrust. "I can see how my wavering on [issue] has undermined LGBT support for my leadership..."
Neither Hill nor Quinn have afforded respect to people living with HIV. Let's not confuse self-serving interlopers with those who actually help to further our cause. Neither ... are friends to people with HIV. Mr.Mixner, it is insulting to see these ... women defended. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
I'm glad you're raising this issue, but not sure I can accept that Quinn and Hill lost out only because of vitriol. There has been a long simmering frustration between our community's leadership and the masses. Admittedly the masses have largely avoided lifting a finger or supporting grassroots and political efforts, but so many of us see establishment gay leadership as woefully out of touch with our daily realities (both on the higher and lower ends of the economic spectrum). The stereotype of the careerist AIDS activist, or the "say anything to get elected" politician is hard to overcome. This is very painful for those who have strong personal ties from working alongside these leaders and remember all the hard work these people have dedicated to the cause. But we live in a world where every leader must justify a "what have you done for me today" type expectation from every constituent. The vitriol you see is a vulgar expression of the belief that these people are out of touch and have stopped listening to their communities. The vitriol should be stopped, but the leaders can't escape the need to >listen<.
It's apparent this is not isolated then; similar language has been used here in Melbourne towards dedicated and loving, caring people with only the best interests of the community at heart. I think you nailed something - anonymity - that great empowerer of hatred and the cowards' craven and pathetic attempts at influence without accountability nor integrity. Ad hominem attacks are just so easy from behind the keyboard, in front of a non-reactive, 2-dimensional representation of the world that is nowhere near an analogue of reality for any serious investment in personal time; an ill-thought, rapidly worded response is so gratifying, instantly, whereas reasoned debate requires energy and intelligence; something these people lack. The vehicle of the internet shows the double-edge of this new sword with which we cut through the geordian knot of bullsh*t and oppression; it allows the rascal as much as it allows the paladin.
I think we have internalised the images of our oppressors, consciously and unconsciously, and now we have become the worst oppressors of each other. Not just to the leaders of our community but to each other as a group. As the good book says, ' A house divided among itself falls.' When we return an eye for an eye we are not better than the person who started the oppression in the first place. I feel sometimes like all the hating and verbal and sometimes physical abuse comes from a place of insecurity and the person now valuing them self. If you respect yourself, you will respect others. If you love yourself, you will love others. Does it say somewhere love your neighbor as you love yourself. It starts with self. Like you I admit we have a challenge and now more than ever should intensify the message of respect and integration to our own community. It alright to disagree and have difference of opinion and debate, that's where all the great ideas will come from and the solution to our challenges will be born out of. But this utter disrespect of each other must stop. One of the reasons why I love the gay community is because its such a rainbow community, everyone in included and accepted, the diversity is amazing and that makes me very proud. But slowly intolerance and prejudice is getting in. I am glad you have noticed it and have the courage to speak out. That's needed. Thank you and God bless you for this article. Silas From Kenya.
Leni
It is rather frightening when the hate comes from within your own 'group'. The world is scary enough. Choosing the lowest common denominator does not show us to be the type of people we want to show ourselves as. There are already plenty of people willing to call us names and use verbal violence-which is abusive. This bullying is very sad and makes me wonder how worthy we are, along with every other rude, spiteful, mean, judgmental person of any sexual orientation. I want to be a role model to my daughter of a respectful, decent person whatever my orientation.
November 19, 2013