Disclaimer: Another entry about politics...

It’s one week until our next president is elected. All the polls indicate that Obama is in the lead, and that Virginia is going to be a key state. They say if Virginia is called early, Obama likely has won. If it trails off into the night, I say that Joe the Positoid will be Joe Six Pack times two.

Or no, wait, if I vote for Obama I’m not a “real Virginian”. And I probably would be considered Joe Chardonnay, not Joe Six-Pack. Either way, if Obama tanks, I’m getting tanked. If I have to resort to huffing to get through the night, then so be it.

winebottles.jpgThis is widely considered to be the most important election of my young generation. Yes, the first black president of the United States is pretty badass, but after the last eight years I’d have to say that 2000 has thus far been the election of my lifetime.

A sex scandal! A Democratic one! Which caused a Vice President to avoid using a widely popular sitting president to win an election! And out of nowhere, a former president’s son comes to the rescue and runs a successful campaign as, get this, a Washington outsider!

I, of course, was in the tank for Al Gore. I look back on that wide-eyed, young 25-year old positoid I once was, thinking that the Republican party blew their chances when they went with Bush over McCain. I was convinced that McCain would beat Gore in the general, and that Bush didn’t have a shot. They guy just seemed like a bit of a manchild.

I felt bad for McCain when he lost the primary in 2000. I kind of liked the guy, especially when he railed against Jerry Falwell for being an “agent of intolerence.” Plus he was really cool with the Daily Show guys, calling them a bunch of “rapscallions” or something of the sort.

Then I felt horrible with Gore’s agonizing, drawn-out defeat. Say what you will about Florida, but if Gore hadn’t have kissed his wife at the convention, and had won his home state of Tennessee, Florida wouldn’t have mattered. Several years later, the American voting public lined up to kick me in the balls once again when young Sanjaya was voted off of Idol.

But I digress.

McCain may be running on fumes and squeezing the assumed soul of Joe the Plumber for every ounce of inspiration, I still think that he is unbeatable in the general election. And if he does win, I will blame the Democrats for not supporting my original choice for the party’s nomination: Mr. Dennis Kucinich.

Positively Yours,