In 2005, I didn’t have a book deal. Or an agent to find me one. The only thing I had was a few files on my computer called “My Pet Virus: The Book” and a dream.
Still, I was looking ahead of the book and dreaming of the story on the big screen: and on the Movies Section on the MySpace page I wrote about MPV: The Movie, starring James Van Der Beek, turning in a stirring performance, as Shawn Decker.
"DECKER! YOU GOT AIDS AND AN ATTITUDE!
...but you also got the best damn throwin’ arm this coach has ever seen."
Well, in the last several months I was approached by an interested party about turning the book into a screenplay, and a talented, funny young writer is working on it right now. Which is pretty rad. (No word from Van Der Beek’s peeps, yet.)
It’s only in the beginning stages of what is sure to be a lengthy process, but it’s cool that this is out there, floating around. Whether others feel inspired, or find the story worthy of being birthed into that format, well that is totally out of my control.
And I’m cool with that. Just the other day I got a message from someone who just completed a high school book report on My Pet Virus. It’s out there, floating around. And I love that.
So now, with the fantasy that much closer to a reality, I’ve gone back to fantasizing about who would play me in MPV: The Movie, and I’ve come up with someone who is even more worthy than James Van Der Beek: and that is Bruce Willis.
Too old, you say? Nonsense.
One need only to go rent The Kid, starring Mr. Willis himself, to be convinced that he is the man for the job. In The Kid they didn’t put make-up on him, and Bruce didn’t have the boyish qualities that made Martin Short shine as Clifford.
In 1992, Martin Short delighted- and terrified- audiences with his portrayal of the meddlesome 10-year old, Clifford
In The Kid, all Bruce Willis did was throw on a baseball cap and act his ass off. By the end of the film, as the credits rolled, I had no doubts that Bruce was indeed a kid. And he’s the only person who can bring life to my life’s story.
Of course, to Van Der Beek’s representatives, should they pick up this blog on a Google Alert: I’m open to suggestions. Perhaps he could play my big brother, Kip?
PS... Can you imagine the Hemo2Homo Review of My Pet Virus: The Movie? Wow.