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My Reality Check: Dating with HIV

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73 Comments

debb

Thank you for sharing your story I have thought about that scenario many times i try so very hard not to let people know of my diagnosis one brother knows and one doesnt. I have also stayed in an unhealthy relationship due to the fear of being alone or the thought of having to tell someone and being rejected my fear keeps me paralized. I want to be happy and need other people going thru the same feelings and fears as myself its nice not to be alone not that i would ever wish this on my worst enemy. Baby steps right????

July 20, 2014

Catherine Kates.

Well i live in south Africa and i'm looking to find a husband HIV Positive so i over the drama of being the one that's got the problem. Cuz dating neg. guys means i'll be bullied for the rest of my life. I get told all the time if you dont like it leave, constantly. I don't even have the energy to complain anymore cuz he know's that i'll never leave. To afraid of dating and being rejected. He does love me but the power trip his on is killing our love and the mutual respect we once shared, is an amazing individual and the best lover i ever had!! Just my luck i met him 3 weeks before i discovered my status. His the man of my dreams , only one little prob. i'm HIV POSITIVE & HIS NOT.I'd like to know where i can meet people with HIV proffesionals, working class people, single & married, with kids just to see how my life can be. I've known my status for a year and just started ARV'S, so i feel like i should be doing so many extreme things but at the same time i just wanna stop a sit quietly to see what happens. Dating is not the issue, getting them to stay is.... I dating a neg. guy means i'm always putting him at risk and that kills me, cuz i love so much. Help.... I know this has no relievence to your block. But i felt the need to share.

March 16, 2013

sunshine

I read your blog and I myslef experienced the same thing this past year met this guy and he said he was really into my,I realized he needed to know my status his only thought was sex an sex only. I then made the decsion to disclose and it was the worst I no longer see him nor talk to him that made it even harder but later like you I had someone interested in me,one day he came over and he told me how he felt for the past year . I then realized we connected and realized his heart was in the right place so things started moving fast emotional level he never made any sexaul advances at all after two months I had to tell him. When I disclosed to him it just happened , I sat on his lap and we where talking I told him I had something to tell him so I did he told me it didn't matter because he loves me so what I am saying is theirs no plaining your heart will will let you know. You can find away to make it a topic to see how he feels about hiv then go on his feels it helps if you really care for him you will know ask god to help.........

March 5, 2013

roddyguy

I am in kind of same position. Have met a guy i like and so far just phone talk getting to know each other. I to am hiv poz viral load undetectable and good health. I am 61 found out year half ago. I want to move alittle forword with this, we are in different states but i like him and want to move closer to some sort relationship. I am afraid him being a younger guy if i tell him i am hiv poz he will wig out and all will end! So it scares me to tell him this early and then it still scares me cause it think it cold be serious. The last thing i want to do is share my disease! I would not want to jeopardise anyones health because of stupidity! even though the person whom i contracted from never did tell me....i dont want to be afraid to meet a person everytime and only to find they reject me. So my dilemma is do i tell him and suffer the consequence and if he cant handle it would have to m8ve on but i dont want to quit with him yet!

February 26, 2013

williamnoodles

I red your story and can easily identify myself through it. I was diagnosed in February 2011 and on this day my girlfriend (at the time) and I went to get tested together; I was positive and she wasn't. Despite all the support she tried to show me at the start, she slowly began to fade away until the break up. First she started to put a friendly label on our status by calling me " a good friend", and later on, while I was showing jealousy because she was seeing other men, she put it right in my face by saying cruelly " Thanks God for saving me from getting your disease!" Another time while I was trying to explain to her that we can still practice safe sex, she added that I could always smell her [privates]. It was so insulting that I walked away for good. Despite whatever has been said, dating while positive remains the biggest challenge. I can't even say how long I have been going on without sex. Being positive seems to be the new kind of discrimination among human beings. I love your story and admire your courage because through it all, you found the strength to go on and keep your head up. Finding HIV support group is the best way to finally find yourself; it's like interacting with people of your own race. The best thing to do is to take care of your health, focus on yourself for a while and learn to know yourself and your environment. Stay healthy is your main priority for now; that's what I try to focus on. I am happy that you found your way despite all the barriers put in place to brake you down. Always remember; you're not alone, we're all in this together. Have a wonderful holiday!

November 28, 2012

risingpheonix70

i have only beganto read your blog entries and feel so intune to your words and messages. so many things in my brain screaming "omg that was me!!!". My own 1 year anniversary approaches...january 13, 2012 and how far i have come physically and emotionally and how much of my life has changed. god if only i could sit down and talk with someone who understands the thought process. Even though we have never met i fell that we have walk together somewhere, somehow. Tonight when i return home my intention to read as much as i can about your journey in the hopes of finding more answers to my questions.

November 26, 2012

chris

I agree i was in a mix status relationship im neg partner poz. We hooked up with out being told she had HIV, it was probably a week before i found out. I was really mad about the fact i wasnt told about her HIV. We had a long talked and i comforted her told her I'd think about it. She said she was tired of trying to meet men and she seem sincere about it. It took 6 months before i got back with her. I all ways use condom for the first few months then i thought she might be the one i marry so i took the condom off and was willing to take the risk of getting HIV and sharing a life with her. Well she cheated on me with multiple people including the person that gave her HIV in the first place. Now im scared to death that she has given it to me, i would not of cared had she been true to me and loved me the way i loved her. Now if i test negative i will never date someone with an illness such as HIV. My advice is take it slow no sexual acts what so ever until you know they can handle an accept the you and the risk. I put a lot of time and energy into our relationship for nothing but the burden of HIV.

November 10, 2012

Ironhorse2

You are in a word an incredible person

October 13, 2012

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