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I too used every couple of months then it morphed it ones a week. Fortunately I had means to get help 2 1/2 years clean. I too was trying to fill a void in my life. The drugs were secondary to the awesome sex. I still dream about getting high. Sex still isn’t normal
I shoot meth about once or twice a month as responsibilities allow. I used to be WAAAAAAAYYYYYYY worse off when smoking it. Smoking 5 days out of 7 off and on, for almost a decade. If you feel bad about it, if you feel it’s a problem; definitely seek help. I often go several months at a time without using simply because I’m too busy and can’t carve out a day to get fuckin high as tits and screw my boyfriend for like 8 hours straight. For me, I’m very lucky-being addicted doesn’t happen easily.
I can not wait for the continuation. The love of my life became addicted. Sometimes I want to talk about how I feel and try to understand and reading you blog helps me cope. Thank you for shedding light and god bless you.
As a response to FenwayNemo: I have to keep reminding people to read the actual blog. Look at the timeline. these are almost like chapters- read each one and remember that these aren't the present day. This is my story and how I got to where I am now. I'm not glorifying drugs or drug-driven sex. I'm sharing my experience. That's what this is. this isn't going to be sugar-coated for you or anyone. This is how it happened.
(cont) . . . . just like I saw it do for most others who used it. I was lucky to survive my experience. There are other, healthier ways to accomplish what I needed to do. Let's help each other find them and stay as healthy as we can be.
Thank you Richard for writing about your experiences. We can all learn from each other. For a brief time while I was going thru a difficult period in mid-life, I used meth for the social connections it helped me make. And it worked for me, at least for a short time. I met some genuinely beautiful (inside and out) men. And the sex was pretty good, too! But anyone who plays with fire eventually gets burned, and meth caused more than a few problems for for me, just like I saw it . . . . (cont)
It's unfortunate you're not seeing through the fact HIV is an attack on the body. Alcohol, Meth and any street drugs are also attacks on your already compromise system. You don't have the option to chose a second "Poison." You already have an incurable poison damaging your body every day. Stay off street drugs and stop glamorizing it as something you are able to manage; because you can't. You do need counseling.
Former user
I did meth one day for the first time, and then almost every day for 13 years. It took being arrested to get off that stuff. I’m still alive but it ruined my life at the time. I got infected in those days. Lost my company. I’m lucky I’m still here today. My advice to the average person is don’t even try it.
March 5, 2019 • NYC