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Stop Bludgeoning Young Gay Men with Our AIDS Tragedy

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19 Comments

Skyreader

Thanks, Mark. Some good points you make and some not so good. As a longtime survivor, I have no desire to bludgeon any one -- young or old -- with the terrors of the early days, but I am alarmed at the cavalier attitude of some young guys who don't understand the seriousness of acquiring immune deficiency syndrome. I have chatted with young men online who think that my being undetectable means we can do anything, and they are safe from the virus. Most of my advice to them is about becoming very educated about transmission, learning to play safe and have fun doing it -- not with me, necessarily. I never speak of the angst of the early to late '80s and the wakes, funerals and gross uncertainties and frustrations of the early days. But I want young guys to know that, despite the many advances, there is still no cure for HIV, and the longterm effects of taking meds is somewhere in Lewis and Clark territory. I think it's better to err on the side of caution as advice givers to youth, but avoid any self-pity and wallowing in the past that some of us are prone to. Just good, sensible, scientific, cautionary advice is needed here.

January 23, 2014

anonymous

I have ponder the comments and discussion and after much meditation and critical thinking in pray to write this respond. I must side with the young man 20 years old in some sense, living with the seemly Hiv for 28 years, and taking one pill Strilbill a day and no other need for any other medicine and plan on going to do labs ever six months, as in the past, well in the past. I did not do labs for years sometimes or take pills. However, I changed my thinking (that happens when one get older and hopefully wiser) and science is changing, and the drugs are better today than at any time in this AIDS history. So it is just like diabetes to me in eating well, staying strong in spirit, positive attitude and living life one day at a time within my hopes, dreams and aspiration of goals and future works. I like to tell new young folks that are in shook about being HIV to think of HIV like Diabetes for both people with these dieses seem to like a lot of sugar. Thanks be to my Faith and the faithful leadership of past and present, I smile today in hope, faith and love and more action to come I hope..

January 17, 2014

teresa

so how do you get through to them? i don't believe in scare tactics but somebody have to get through to them about this disease

January 14, 2014

Laurie Edwards

If you don't use your friend Leslie--or the thousands of other young gay men who died in the earlier days of the Plague--you are blithely dooming a new generation of gay men to die too. My first husband, a bisexual gentleman who was infected in the mid-80s and died in the mid-90s, was the perfect negative example of gay life back then. No one ever deserves such a death as he died, but that death could've been predicted--and was. I use the story of Kevin to teach young gay people how NOT to live; I teach them to use condoms, to not be sluts, to not engage in anonymous sex--because behavior like that KILLS. Silence = Death, Sir, and I'll be damned if my husband's horrible death will be of no use to anybody!

January 13, 2014

Susan Forrest

The City of West Hollywood hosted an intergenerational panel discussion on HIV from 20 years ago until now, and 20 years into the future. It seems relevant to this discussion. One can watch the entire discussion here: http://weho.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=16&clip_id=2243

December 27, 2013

cx

Thank you for this. I am HIV positive and in my 20s. All my life I was bombarded with messages about how awful the disease is. When people with HIV would message me on Grindr I would just block them and not give them a chance. Then I got the disease. I don't want to be an asexual monster or a cautionary tale. Other than a pill I take before bed and seeing the doctor twice a year my day to day life is the same. Why is that so taboo to say? I just wish everybody would be more rational about the disease.

December 21, 2013

Bob Reed

Hi Mark, I have to disagree with you. Fear can be a strategy for preventing HIV as well as other STI's. Just look at the reduction in syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia during the mid '80's to mid '90's when AIDS first reared it's ugly head and people were scared to death to have sex. I talk to a lot of young people about HIV. I always share the horror stories and show pictures of my friends who have died. It is the only thing that gives their deaths purpose and meaning. At the same time I always share the joy of having lived through an epidemic (because in my small world the epidemic has ended). I do agree with you that if you are using fear and tales of the epidemic as your main HIV prevention tool for young gay men then you are not going to be very successful. I think of it as drivers ed. It is important to watch those awful films that show the results of bad accidents. But the instructor should spend far more time teaching their students how to drive successfully.

December 19, 2013

mike,tulsa

As an African American with h.i.v,who benefits from the activism of gay white males in the act up movement,young gay men need to be aware of the high price that was paid for aids treatment,living with h.i.v. is still a struggle,it's not a death sentence,but its life altering,one of the problems in the black community is not acknowledging,the high price paid by civil rights movement,some people throw away opportunities people 60 years ago black people never dreamed of,so younger gays don't need to be bludgeoned by the past,but your health should never be takened for granted,just talk to someone struggling with h.i.v.

December 6, 2013

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