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As millions of people descend on D.C., Gwenn are I are escaping to witness a coronation of a different kind: the crowning of a new Miss America in Las Vegas!

Of course, I’ll be watching all the Obama highlights on television, but we can’t lose sight of how important Miss America is going to be once we hit the full depths of the “deprecession.” We’re going to need a symbolic figure who is somewhat aloof to distract us while the administration is doing all the heavy-lifting behind the scenes.

Oh, and that’s a photo of Miss America 1998, Kate Shindle. My favorite of all-time. She wasn’t aloof- she supported clean needle exchange programs and condom use as means to prevent the spread of HIV... Kate, can you come of retirement and compete again? Pretty please?

Of course I’m kind of rooting for Miss Virginia, but my heart is with Miss New York, Leigh-Taylor Smith. She joined Team Supersnack, the AIDS Walk NY Team, last year and helped raise money for positoids. She’d be a great beacon of awesomeness.

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Gwenn and Leigh-Taylor representin’ at the AIDS Walk last May.

Now, about the deprecession... that’s really why I’m heading to Vegas: I am putting everything I own on the color Red in roulette. Thinblood red. Let it ride, I say. A couple of years ago, a guy hired a publicist and did the same thing.

roulette online

Of course, with Obama and Miss America stealing all the headlines, money for PR is wasted- nobody would cover me so I couldn’t count on a sympathetic boost in book sales to put Spam on the dinner table if the roulette table turns out to be a cruel mistress.

So the PR money would be better off sitting up there on Red for the doublin’.

Why Red? Because I’m a thinblood. I might just punch myself in the nose for good luck as the roulette wheel spins around, my financial fate hopping from number to number, color to color. If there’s not a bragadocious blog posted in the next week or so, you’ll know things didn’t go my way and I couldn’t afford internet access or no longer own a computer.

Maybe I’ll hold the computer back.

Positively Yours,
Shawn