The frequencies in my life today are high. Recently I have started diving into my spiritual practice deeper and started seeing a therapist. I have been slowly learning patience while getting to know someone special. Life is offering so many new opportunities and I’ve been a little preoccupied with new gigs, so I haven’t had as much time to write blog entries. There’s even a new podcast I’m working on called “Them 3 Judies” with Marti Gould Cummings and Fonda Koxx, so stay tuned for that. I guess it’s time to dive back into early 2018 and find out what happened since I last wrote about that period in my life.
I had returned to New York City from Puerto Vallarta, renewed and refreshed. I felt recharged and somewhat healed as that’s what the beach, sunshine, and water have to offer in their combined beauty. The journey I went on for the months following my trip was full of lessons and brought some awareness to my life. Today, five years later, I look back at this period and see how it still affects me. I can see the influence in the way my dating patterns have changed and the way my work ethic has increased with my experience putting events together. It feels right.
Throughout the Spring of 2018, Bootsie LeFaris and Austyn Zimmer and I were on the final stages of putting together Miss Hell’s Kitchen, A local drag queen pageant held at Manhattan Movement and Arts Center. It was on the smaller side in terms of the number of contestants, but we only needed the amazing five we had for that season. They all brought their best and proved to our community that small can be mighty. These five drag artists sang and danced and performed their hearts out for that crown all as a service to their community with Lady SinAGaga taking the crown.
At the same time I had started getting to know a guy that was cute and sweet. We went on several dates and I even asked him to be my date for the pageant. Things seemed to be going swell until that day when I completely shut him out based out of what I now recognize as unrealistic expectations from my end. I see now that I failed to communicate what I needed and where we could meet in the middle. I should’ve expressed more clearly that, because I’m now sober, I could not handle dating someone that was a heavy drinker (giving him the option of drinking last). I also could’ve expressed that the drag pageant was a major event of mine and that I would appreciate it if maybe he dressed up for it (instead of getting mad about it after the fact, as if he were a mind reader and knew my expectations beforehand).
I felt like I was testing him instead of guiding him. The night of the pageant I shrugged him off and then told him I was no longer interested in pursuing the relationship.
May 2018 was an exciting time. Moving on from Miss Hell’s Kitchen and relationships, I directed my energy into rehearsals for the Ptown summer show Male Call and to fundraising events for Broadway Bares season. I was juggling my time between serving at a bar and performing gigs all through that time while focusing on single life. I was solo and celibate and very in tune with my sobriety. I was on a roll and basking in the world around me. And in addition to all of the dancing and rehearsing, I was in the gym working on my fitness and feeling at one with my body, I was IN my body.
I was full of gratitude. I was prioritizing me and the service I could do for my community. It led to many new feeling of self-worth. By June I was in full swing with rehearsals for multiple shows, had tons of gigs go-go dancing, backup dancing, choreographing, and doing burlesque. It was a perfect way to prepare for Pride and for the last leg of springtime in New York. It was setting me on a path for success and to be more effective in the world around me.