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I can relate. But on the other hand, I keep it confidential. It's no one's business. My mom and dad know, and I keep it like that!
I really think you hit the nail on the head Aundaray. People do not even think before they open their mouths. I have faced the same questions once I was diagnosed. "You don't look like you are HIV+" "Are you going to die?" And my all-time favorite, "Who did you get it from?" For crying out loud, does it matter? I can't go and give it back to the person; I have to live my life now and keep a positive attitude and try to maintain my sanity. We all need to be very positive in our conversations about our gift that we have received and make sure it does not ruin our lives anymore than it already has. I have become very active in the HIV/AIDS community here in Minnesota and plan to do more in the future.
Excellent post! I'm of two opinions... On one hand, everyone in our culture needs to address the serious denial we have about human mortality. Death, dying, disability, and sickness are normal parts of the human experience. In everyone's social circle there are family and friends dealing with breast cancer, diabetes, old age, and also HIV. Given this reality, it shouldn't come as a surprise that people ask "ouchy" questions? Lung cancer patients are asked if they were smokers. Bereaved spouses are bombarded with the wrong message at the wrong time (eg. "He was suffering so much, it's a good thing he died"). Tact is not exactly our culture's forte in times of illness. So my second perspective is that HIV+ people should not take these "ouchy" moments personally. I worry that the massive efforts going into the anti-"Clean" movement is a losing battle and comes at the expense of mental well-being-- not to mention energy that is better spent on HIV prevention and social services for PWA.
MDP
It is no different than any other illness -- people ask the stupidest questions. Parkinson's -- well, you don't shake! Cancer -- did they get it all? Where do people actually think they have permission to ask such things? I just don't tell anyone anymore. There's no point. I am healthy and alive. There's no reason to tell other than to shock and encourage really dumb questions.
February 9, 2015