O’Donnell: If You Can’t Beat It... Join ’Em?
Right now I’m going to focus on Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell. It’s a state election. I get it. It’s Delaware’s business whom they ultimately elect to represent them. Of course, money can come in from anywhere in elections, but the people decide who represents them with a push of the button in November. In the primary, O’Donnell’s camp claimed her Republican opponent Mike Castle was cheating on his wife with men en route to the upset win. Again, I don’t know anything about Delaware or whether that cheap shot helped or not.
Thus far the polls show that O’Donnell is trailing against her Democratic opponent, whose name escapes me because it does not inspire the rage that O’Donnell does. I don’t know if that lead will hold up, but I hope against hope that she doesn’t win or become some folk hero in defeat in the same manner that pay-for-your-own-damn-rape-kit Gov. Sarah Palin has. What’s even worse is that O’Donnell made a name for herself as an anti-masturbation activist. And now, for once, I know how the gun rights advocates feel. Charlton Heston famously said that they could pry his gun from his cold dead hands. Well, O’Donnell can pry my penis from my cold dead hands should she outlive me.
Another thing about O’Donnell that has bothered me is her claim that abstinence is the only sure-fire way to prevent the spread of HIV. Well, for single folks I call masturbation “abstinence with a smile!”, and as an educator I give it the 100% safety seal of approval. And for those in relationships, nothing eases sexual tension like rubbing one out. It’s a lot cheaper than couples therapy, too.
All jokes aside, she has also stated publicly that condoms don’t prevent the spread of HIV and told Bill O’Reilly that it is “anti-human” to promote condom use. Really? Damn, I’ve been spending the entirety of my adult life promoting condom use, and also enjoying its benefits in protecting my wife partner, Gwenn, from HIV... for ten years running! How championing the prevention of HIV, a virus that can and does kill humans, is anti-human is beyond my realm of thinking apparently.
I know that people can say just about whatever they want, and that the price is usually ridicule. That’s why, as a sex educator, it’s so baffling that Christine O’Donnell has been rewarded with a major party’s nomination for a Senate seat. If she wins, it could be the first step towards something bigger... perhaps the road to the White House?
In preparation, I’ve decided that, should she win in November and become a state senator, I really need to change my ways. No more condom talk, mocha drinkin’ and liberal views (equality for all, social security for seniors and the ability for kids with cancer to keep their health insurance) outlook. I’m going to dial all that back, get really paranoid about other things and not worry too much about a whole lot of nuthin’. In Wal-Mart I picked out a hat just in case O’Donnell wins and I have to make good on this.